We heard the Advisor to King Abdullah of Saudi speak yesterday of reformation taking place in the Kingdom.Very interesting indeed.Isn't Tun Mahathir an Advisor to the King as well? So when Dr Rahman spoke of knowledge-based society, I thought hell, this sounds familiar.
But it's nice that Saudi is opening up to so many things.They should lead or at least be seen to lead the ummah.Otherwise, gimme da monehhhh.
I raised the issue of high divorce rate in the country (and other rich Gulf countries).Dr Rahman said don't you believe what the media says.Hmmm.But media tu media depa juga (part of the reasons is couples marry young then discover they could not cope.Ini bukan impact of globalisation/modernisation/reformation.Ini tradition!)
Anyway, he said I was insightful when I raised my concern over family institution ((rapuh sekarang..even in Msia..kes2 buang bayi nih..semua sebab people have lost respect for the sanctity of marriage) and the need to create a balance dalam kita terkejar2 mengejar globalisation kaa, reformation kaa, modernisation kaa.
I think Bahrain has an Institute that looks at Family Institution.Ni I ingat many years ago dah ada...CEOnya orang putih.Can you beat that? Orang putih nak ngajar orang Islam bagaimana nak berkeluarga atau menjaga institusi keluarga. Malu betul.Konon kita ni khalifah.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Massive traffic jam on MRR2 ke Sg Buloh
I was stuck on MRR2 heading to Sg Buloh from Gombak for almost 5 hours yesterday.An hour into the jam, I rang up the traffic dept.The guy said he heard nothing and said it was common to be trapped at such an hour.I said no...I go through this route daily.This is mother of jams.He said oh.He'd investigate.I thought "don't we have sophisticated gadgets to detect accidents ke hapa ke when massive jam like this happens.Why so 4th world one?"
I was tired, hungry, nak pi loo, etc.So when I saw the next available sign to go back the opposite direction, I blah.Was too tired by now to take the alternative route (Duke yang mahal itu and there's no guarantee that it would not be jammed up as well yah?) So I did the wisest thing..stopped over at my sister's place in Gombak and slept over (rang up Nik to explain).
About 5 am I drove back home.
Lepas tu I rang up traffic to find out what happened (it was not in the news).The guy said bukan dia yang on duty semalam so he didn't know (how odd..again I thought don't they have records flashing somewhere in the system?) I told him I was going to call up a few Ministries to highlight a few things (like don't they have KPIs to clear up accidents within certain2 timeframe but not 5 hours! My fren sampai rumah 11 pm semalam) so can he find up what happened before I put in my report even traffic dept didn't know what was happening.
So the chap was kind enough to call me back and said it was an accident motor and kereta kat Kepong (but I went through Kepong...takda apa pun...ambulance and police car went further!) Anyway kalau motor and kereta takkan sampai 5 jam nak clear? Macam treler and treler je berlanggar!
But I emailed Dr Tan, MP for Kepong.Besok I nak call up the two ministries.It is so counter productive allowing rakyat jelata spending time and fuel so long like that just becos' there is inefficiency somewhere (and we want to know where so that we can tackle the root problem) The policeman said ini perkara biasa.My! Should we live with perkara biasa dan terus merana? When perkara burok jadi biasa, something is wrong somewhere.Someone is definitely not thinking to be better!
I was tired, hungry, nak pi loo, etc.So when I saw the next available sign to go back the opposite direction, I blah.Was too tired by now to take the alternative route (Duke yang mahal itu and there's no guarantee that it would not be jammed up as well yah?) So I did the wisest thing..stopped over at my sister's place in Gombak and slept over (rang up Nik to explain).
About 5 am I drove back home.
Lepas tu I rang up traffic to find out what happened (it was not in the news).The guy said bukan dia yang on duty semalam so he didn't know (how odd..again I thought don't they have records flashing somewhere in the system?) I told him I was going to call up a few Ministries to highlight a few things (like don't they have KPIs to clear up accidents within certain2 timeframe but not 5 hours! My fren sampai rumah 11 pm semalam) so can he find up what happened before I put in my report even traffic dept didn't know what was happening.
So the chap was kind enough to call me back and said it was an accident motor and kereta kat Kepong (but I went through Kepong...takda apa pun...ambulance and police car went further!) Anyway kalau motor and kereta takkan sampai 5 jam nak clear? Macam treler and treler je berlanggar!
But I emailed Dr Tan, MP for Kepong.Besok I nak call up the two ministries.It is so counter productive allowing rakyat jelata spending time and fuel so long like that just becos' there is inefficiency somewhere (and we want to know where so that we can tackle the root problem) The policeman said ini perkara biasa.My! Should we live with perkara biasa dan terus merana? When perkara burok jadi biasa, something is wrong somewhere.Someone is definitely not thinking to be better!
Monday, April 12, 2010
when network does not work
This is really kelakar.
You have 7000 bidders for a thousand placements.You need cables to be among the lucky 1000.
Know what I'm talking about?
Government or Corporate scholarships for colleges/unis.
Everyone we know, our cables in the 'right' places have switched off their handphones, tiba2 email messages 'out of town'.Nak tergelak pun ada.Dulu semua kata no problem, no problem..but if we are competing with their own children or sedara mara, it would be tough I think.I understand.But isn't it kelakar?
I'd never switch off.I'd just say Insyaallah, I'll do my best. :))
I told Z to just pray and ask Allah.Itu lagi senang.
You have 7000 bidders for a thousand placements.You need cables to be among the lucky 1000.
Know what I'm talking about?
Government or Corporate scholarships for colleges/unis.
Everyone we know, our cables in the 'right' places have switched off their handphones, tiba2 email messages 'out of town'.Nak tergelak pun ada.Dulu semua kata no problem, no problem..but if we are competing with their own children or sedara mara, it would be tough I think.I understand.But isn't it kelakar?
I'd never switch off.I'd just say Insyaallah, I'll do my best. :))
I told Z to just pray and ask Allah.Itu lagi senang.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Dr. Robert Fisk:The real journalist
Me, Shan and Dr. Robert Fisk(during his IIUM talk)
Thanks to Dr. Isham's insight, we got to listen to the famous Independent foreign correspondent, Dr Robert Fisk. Fisk was born in Maidstone in Kent, UK on July 12, 1946 (64 years old).He received his PhD at the Trinity College in Dublin in 1985.Based in Beirut for more than 30 years, this 7 times British International Journalist of the Year is a walking history who has written at length on the origins of contemporary conflicts.Think of any trouble on Earth: Dr Fisk has covered them all: from Northern Ireland troubles in the 70s to the Portuguese Revolution in 1974 to the Lebanese Civil War to the Iranian Revolution in 1979; the Soviet War in Afghanistan, the Iran-Iraq War, the Gulf War, the Invasion of Iraq in 2003 and he will update us on the most recent coverage in a new book/doco soon, I’m sure.
Fisk is a vernacular Arabic speaker and one of the few western journalists to have interviewed Osama ben Laden, not once but thrice! Osama tried to convert him to be a Muslim the first time around and the conversation went like this:
Mr Robert, one of our brothers had a dream. He dreamed ... that you were a spiritual person ... this means you are a true Muslim."
Dr.Fisk replied; "Sheikh Osama, I am not a Muslim ... I am a journalist ... A journalist's task is to tell the truth."
Bin Laden replied: "If you tell the truth, that means you are a good Muslim."[
Fisk believes that journalists must challenge all authorities especially so when governments and politicians take us to war and that our job is to monitor the centres of power and not allow Presidents, Prime Ministers, Generals even journalists to set the narrative of events instead of challenging the authorities.
He’s a pacifist and has never voted.
Fisk is also a best-selling author whose books include The Great War for Civilisation: The Conquest of the Middle East (2005, latest edition 2007), Pity the Nation: Lebanon at War (1990, latest edition 2002) and The Age of the Warrior: Selected Essays by Robert Fisk (2008)
Fisk is on Facebook (possibly created by a fan) because he does not use emails which he describes as “the death of literature”. He still writes letters to friends and fans.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjoGLA4mVxU
(against portraying war as something NOT bad ~ something surgical. Tell war as it is! Use proper language.A wall is not a fence."Jewish occupied" not "Jewish neighbourhood", etc)
An interesting write-up on him (he's divorced.Ex was this beautiful Observer journalist Lara Marlowe)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/apr/13/middleeastthemedia.lebanon
More war drama here http://www.fromoccupiedpalestine.org/node/55
Fisk is a vernacular Arabic speaker and one of the few western journalists to have interviewed Osama ben Laden, not once but thrice! Osama tried to convert him to be a Muslim the first time around and the conversation went like this:
Mr Robert, one of our brothers had a dream. He dreamed ... that you were a spiritual person ... this means you are a true Muslim."
Dr.Fisk replied; "Sheikh Osama, I am not a Muslim ... I am a journalist ... A journalist's task is to tell the truth."
Bin Laden replied: "If you tell the truth, that means you are a good Muslim."[
Fisk believes that journalists must challenge all authorities especially so when governments and politicians take us to war and that our job is to monitor the centres of power and not allow Presidents, Prime Ministers, Generals even journalists to set the narrative of events instead of challenging the authorities.
He’s a pacifist and has never voted.
Fisk is also a best-selling author whose books include The Great War for Civilisation: The Conquest of the Middle East (2005, latest edition 2007), Pity the Nation: Lebanon at War (1990, latest edition 2002) and The Age of the Warrior: Selected Essays by Robert Fisk (2008)
Fisk is on Facebook (possibly created by a fan) because he does not use emails which he describes as “the death of literature”. He still writes letters to friends and fans.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjoGLA4mVxU
(against portraying war as something NOT bad ~ something surgical. Tell war as it is! Use proper language.A wall is not a fence."Jewish occupied" not "Jewish neighbourhood", etc)
An interesting write-up on him (he's divorced.Ex was this beautiful Observer journalist Lara Marlowe)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/apr/13/middleeastthemedia.lebanon
More war drama here http://www.fromoccupiedpalestine.org/node/55
Friday, April 02, 2010
HUKM again
Some days ago I was the one who helped my mom check out of HUKM after her fistula surgery and besoknya dialysis.As always, you'd see how disconnected staff are at HUKM.I think it's just loss of passion to work their best.Can you imagine the young docs duduk bersibai atas counter (tempat nurse and doc menulis2 at the ward).It looks so unprofessional.These kids ingat depa kat sekolah menengah lagi ke? Duduk bersibai kat tepi jalan.
Anyway, in another scene I waited so long for the doc to sign my mom's discharge letter so mcm biasa, I sought permission to send her home dulu.Nurse kata not after the doc had seen her.Fair.So I waited.Meanwhile my mom komplen tangan fistula dia bengkak.Doc came and said he'd call the pakar.I went down to pray in surau level 1.When I came back my mom said pakar had come and he said can balik.Told the nurse pagi besok we'd collect doc's letter memandangkan it was getting late and doc tak da nak issue surat.My mom was getting restless and tired.
So I balik.
Then my mom's kaki and tangan got worse (bengkak).My 2nd sister yang garang tu pi call HUKM...war in mind.We went through the event and came to this conclusion: I may be in the wrong sebab jarum yang patutnya nurse/doc tanggal was still in my mom's arm! (but the doc and nurse saw..no one told me anything! And nurse knew I was going home.No one accused me of breaching any law)
Anyway, after work besok harinya, Sal and I went back to HUKM.Went to the emergency.Waited hours! Had it not been for this doctor called Ayub, I swear I'd collapse with fatigue, anger, hunger.The minute we walked into Dr Ayub's room, he was so cheerful, jovial, all those feelings I mentioned above hilang.It is this Dr Ayub also yang selalu ring up to ask how she is, etc.If only all docs have that kinda humour/PR, yang sakit akan cepat sembuh, yang marah akan tenang! We laughed so much when Dr Ayub kata antara pantang larang org sakit buahpinggang ialah jangan meminum beer.Wakaka! Mak aku tu dah 77, minum pun tak leh banyak...inikan beer.My mom said itu haram..bukan minuman kita.But she laughed too.
I think I'll email Prof Lokman, HUKM Director and give him some feedbacks.Emergency Room tu kotor, toilets hancing (I nak ambik air semayang nak semayang kat surau situ pun tak jadi..luckily I found my way to Level 2 of the Admin Building...wakaka..Jaga takda masa tu)
But I will mention Dr Ayub to Prof Lokman too.He should be an inspiration to others in health service.
Anyway, in another scene I waited so long for the doc to sign my mom's discharge letter so mcm biasa, I sought permission to send her home dulu.Nurse kata not after the doc had seen her.Fair.So I waited.Meanwhile my mom komplen tangan fistula dia bengkak.Doc came and said he'd call the pakar.I went down to pray in surau level 1.When I came back my mom said pakar had come and he said can balik.Told the nurse pagi besok we'd collect doc's letter memandangkan it was getting late and doc tak da nak issue surat.My mom was getting restless and tired.
So I balik.
Then my mom's kaki and tangan got worse (bengkak).My 2nd sister yang garang tu pi call HUKM...war in mind.We went through the event and came to this conclusion: I may be in the wrong sebab jarum yang patutnya nurse/doc tanggal was still in my mom's arm! (but the doc and nurse saw..no one told me anything! And nurse knew I was going home.No one accused me of breaching any law)
Anyway, after work besok harinya, Sal and I went back to HUKM.Went to the emergency.Waited hours! Had it not been for this doctor called Ayub, I swear I'd collapse with fatigue, anger, hunger.The minute we walked into Dr Ayub's room, he was so cheerful, jovial, all those feelings I mentioned above hilang.It is this Dr Ayub also yang selalu ring up to ask how she is, etc.If only all docs have that kinda humour/PR, yang sakit akan cepat sembuh, yang marah akan tenang! We laughed so much when Dr Ayub kata antara pantang larang org sakit buahpinggang ialah jangan meminum beer.Wakaka! Mak aku tu dah 77, minum pun tak leh banyak...inikan beer.My mom said itu haram..bukan minuman kita.But she laughed too.
I think I'll email Prof Lokman, HUKM Director and give him some feedbacks.Emergency Room tu kotor, toilets hancing (I nak ambik air semayang nak semayang kat surau situ pun tak jadi..luckily I found my way to Level 2 of the Admin Building...wakaka..Jaga takda masa tu)
But I will mention Dr Ayub to Prof Lokman too.He should be an inspiration to others in health service.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Benjy
Taken from a blog but first, my questions:
1.Is this caused by a family feud? Sudahkah Benjy bercerai dgn isterinya ? (anak seorang tycoon Cina). Adakah mereka berebut hak penjagaan anak kecil itu?
2. Why was he denied a lawyer?
3.Mengapa Ben menyewa condo dan siapakah perempuan bersamanya?
4.Mengapa seorang yang begitu berbakat dan pintar jadi begini?
Semoga Ben dilindungi Allah sekiranya ini fitnah.
*******
the following is written by a very dear friend of mine, Inessa Irdayanty, and the one below, by her sister Elza Irdalynna. there isn’t anything for me to do about this predicament she and her family currently face, except to help spread the news about injustice that is prevailing right here, right now. by re-posting this note, i hope im doing her a favour – it’s the least i can do, besides keeping her in my prayers.
my heart goes out to her family. they’ve been holding on to each other and not giving up in times of adversity – and i do know for a fact that this is one very, very strong family who has been, time and time again, been thrown into the many difficulties of life. may they pull through this!
please do take the time to read. i mean it. and re-post it if possible, and if you feel strongly about this.
thank you.
*******
the latest news is, as written by Star Online,
The 800gm of “powder” found at actor Khaeryll Benjamin Ibrahim’s condominium unit in Kepong is not cocaine, said the police.
“The 800gm of powder confiscated was not cocaine and we have requested the Chemistry Department to conduct tests again,”.
why the retest is necessary, i do not know. just like how they needed about 10 plain clothed cops to rearrest my brother after the bail was posted, i do not know. and as much as i try to comprehend, i can’t.
i’m just hoping that all of this end soon enough, before my mother breaks down – she has been very strong about this; before my father speaks up – we all know how quiet he usually is; before my sister loses her patience – God knows she already has very little of that; and before my 4-year-old nephew is old enough to realise what is going on, and have these bullshit questions running through his head the way they run through mine.
thank you very much to all of you out there who are supporting us, praying for us, or at the very least ask us how we are. it means a lot to us, trust me.
one favour i would like to ask from all of you, is to please read the note below, written by my sister Elza Irdalynna, and to perhaps re-post this, if you may. please, and thank you. God bless.
——————————————————————————————————————————
On March 11th, he was arrested at his apartment’s parking lot in Segambut. Police brought him to an apartment he rented in Kepong, and after entering, claimed that in that residence, he possessed 800grams of cocaine, and 140grams of methamphetamine, and accused him of processing and trafficking, putting him under the risk of being charged under Section 39B, which carries the death penalty.
On March 12th he was remanded for 7 days. When my parents inquired if we can engage a lawyer, the Investigation Officer told us “No need”.
On March 17th, after our family waited more than an hour, we were allowed to see him for the very first time, under supervision.Again my mother asked if we should get him a lawyer, again the I.O advised against it, claiming “Lawyer tak boleh buat apa-apa sekarang. Buang duit je. (Lawyer can’t do anything now. It’s simply a waste of money).”
On March 18th, his remand was extended another 7 days. The magistrate enquired why there was no lawyer present for him, and whether he was made aware he had the right to a counsel of his choice. He replied “No.” Therefore, he requested for one, and only nine hours later, did the I.O call to inform my mother, who promptly engaged Amer Hamzah Arshad.
But the very next day, the police used their Executive authority under Section 28A that vetoed his right to a counsel. All requests made by our lawyer to visit him was denied.
Only after we complained to SUHAKAM, did the police allow Amer to visit him.On the last day of his remand.After the investigations were concluded.For only 15 minutes.
On March 25th, he was brought to court, and charged under Section 12(2) for possession of 0.24grams of metaphetamin in his Segambut residence. Nothing the police claimed they found in the Kepong residence, the cocaine and shabu that was “already packaged to be distributed” or the so called “cocaine processing mini-lab” was brought to court.
Because there WAS none.
He was released on bail. A trial date was set. He was so close to being free, and seeing his 4 year old son again.But as he was signing the papers of his release, the Plainclothes were outside waiting.
Not two steps after he came out of the bail department, without any explanation, they re-arrested him. Amer was restrained from protecting him, and only after Amer repeatedly asked them to show their I.D, did they do so. Still, no explanation was given to the family. We were merely told to go to the Headquarters and speak to Inspector Kang. The same guy who claimed my brother possessed the cocaine they NEVER found.
He never saw us, he was “in a meeting.” He wasn’t too occupied to give the press a statement, but was unavailable to see us.We were told by the new I.O for this case, and the DSP (the guy who signed the papers denying my brother the right to a counsel) that they are detaining him for 60 days under the Special Preventive Measures Act (LPK), after which, they could further detain him for 2 years if found guilty.
Guilty according to THEM. For under this act, it is a detention without trial, like the Internal Security Act. Any information gathered from “witnesses” and “investigations” will never be disclosed to him or his lawyer, or the court. He will also not be able to defend himself against any allegations. Under this act, he will never have his day in court.
On March 25th, my brother, Ben, was denied his Constitutional rights.
For 2 weeks, our family went through hell. Sleepless nights, press waiting outside our door, Ben had asthma attacks after the police delayed themselves in acquiring the requested medication for 3 days, Mama, who is a cancer patient herself, suffered chest pains and lost her voice.We felt it was all worth it, for we would be able to have him back.
But now, a new nightmare has begun.Whether or not Ben is guilty, should not be for the Police to decide. If they HAD the evidence to strengthen their warrant for re-arrest, why was it not brought to court? Why is Ben not given a chance to defend himself? How can we ever know the authenticity of these so called witnesses and their statements? If there were ANY to begin with?
Under this act, I could simply be caught for any crimes of drug offences the police accuse me of, because they can claim they have enough information (even if they have absolutely nothing) and detain me. For 60 days, for 2 years, and even EXTEND it after.
Acts like this and the ISA are licenses for ARBITRARY arrest and detention. Anytime. Anywhere. Anybody.
My family and Amer will not back down. We will fight for Ben’s right. We will speak up for all of those who were silenced before us, who will be silenced hereafter.
But we seek your help. In any way at all, help us fight this. Re-post this, write on your blogs, write to your local representative, to our newspapers, and together we shall use our voice, our art, our space, to stand up not just for Ben, but for all our rights.
Liberty is a Constitutional right. It’s time to get it back.
*******
1.Is this caused by a family feud? Sudahkah Benjy bercerai dgn isterinya ? (anak seorang tycoon Cina). Adakah mereka berebut hak penjagaan anak kecil itu?
2. Why was he denied a lawyer?
3.Mengapa Ben menyewa condo dan siapakah perempuan bersamanya?
4.Mengapa seorang yang begitu berbakat dan pintar jadi begini?
Semoga Ben dilindungi Allah sekiranya ini fitnah.
*******
the following is written by a very dear friend of mine, Inessa Irdayanty, and the one below, by her sister Elza Irdalynna. there isn’t anything for me to do about this predicament she and her family currently face, except to help spread the news about injustice that is prevailing right here, right now. by re-posting this note, i hope im doing her a favour – it’s the least i can do, besides keeping her in my prayers.
my heart goes out to her family. they’ve been holding on to each other and not giving up in times of adversity – and i do know for a fact that this is one very, very strong family who has been, time and time again, been thrown into the many difficulties of life. may they pull through this!
please do take the time to read. i mean it. and re-post it if possible, and if you feel strongly about this.
thank you.
*******
the latest news is, as written by Star Online,
The 800gm of “powder” found at actor Khaeryll Benjamin Ibrahim’s condominium unit in Kepong is not cocaine, said the police.
“The 800gm of powder confiscated was not cocaine and we have requested the Chemistry Department to conduct tests again,”.
why the retest is necessary, i do not know. just like how they needed about 10 plain clothed cops to rearrest my brother after the bail was posted, i do not know. and as much as i try to comprehend, i can’t.
i’m just hoping that all of this end soon enough, before my mother breaks down – she has been very strong about this; before my father speaks up – we all know how quiet he usually is; before my sister loses her patience – God knows she already has very little of that; and before my 4-year-old nephew is old enough to realise what is going on, and have these bullshit questions running through his head the way they run through mine.
thank you very much to all of you out there who are supporting us, praying for us, or at the very least ask us how we are. it means a lot to us, trust me.
one favour i would like to ask from all of you, is to please read the note below, written by my sister Elza Irdalynna, and to perhaps re-post this, if you may. please, and thank you. God bless.
——————————————————————————————————————————
On March 11th, he was arrested at his apartment’s parking lot in Segambut. Police brought him to an apartment he rented in Kepong, and after entering, claimed that in that residence, he possessed 800grams of cocaine, and 140grams of methamphetamine, and accused him of processing and trafficking, putting him under the risk of being charged under Section 39B, which carries the death penalty.
On March 12th he was remanded for 7 days. When my parents inquired if we can engage a lawyer, the Investigation Officer told us “No need”.
On March 17th, after our family waited more than an hour, we were allowed to see him for the very first time, under supervision.Again my mother asked if we should get him a lawyer, again the I.O advised against it, claiming “Lawyer tak boleh buat apa-apa sekarang. Buang duit je. (Lawyer can’t do anything now. It’s simply a waste of money).”
On March 18th, his remand was extended another 7 days. The magistrate enquired why there was no lawyer present for him, and whether he was made aware he had the right to a counsel of his choice. He replied “No.” Therefore, he requested for one, and only nine hours later, did the I.O call to inform my mother, who promptly engaged Amer Hamzah Arshad.
But the very next day, the police used their Executive authority under Section 28A that vetoed his right to a counsel. All requests made by our lawyer to visit him was denied.
Only after we complained to SUHAKAM, did the police allow Amer to visit him.On the last day of his remand.After the investigations were concluded.For only 15 minutes.
On March 25th, he was brought to court, and charged under Section 12(2) for possession of 0.24grams of metaphetamin in his Segambut residence. Nothing the police claimed they found in the Kepong residence, the cocaine and shabu that was “already packaged to be distributed” or the so called “cocaine processing mini-lab” was brought to court.
Because there WAS none.
He was released on bail. A trial date was set. He was so close to being free, and seeing his 4 year old son again.But as he was signing the papers of his release, the Plainclothes were outside waiting.
Not two steps after he came out of the bail department, without any explanation, they re-arrested him. Amer was restrained from protecting him, and only after Amer repeatedly asked them to show their I.D, did they do so. Still, no explanation was given to the family. We were merely told to go to the Headquarters and speak to Inspector Kang. The same guy who claimed my brother possessed the cocaine they NEVER found.
He never saw us, he was “in a meeting.” He wasn’t too occupied to give the press a statement, but was unavailable to see us.We were told by the new I.O for this case, and the DSP (the guy who signed the papers denying my brother the right to a counsel) that they are detaining him for 60 days under the Special Preventive Measures Act (LPK), after which, they could further detain him for 2 years if found guilty.
Guilty according to THEM. For under this act, it is a detention without trial, like the Internal Security Act. Any information gathered from “witnesses” and “investigations” will never be disclosed to him or his lawyer, or the court. He will also not be able to defend himself against any allegations. Under this act, he will never have his day in court.
On March 25th, my brother, Ben, was denied his Constitutional rights.
For 2 weeks, our family went through hell. Sleepless nights, press waiting outside our door, Ben had asthma attacks after the police delayed themselves in acquiring the requested medication for 3 days, Mama, who is a cancer patient herself, suffered chest pains and lost her voice.We felt it was all worth it, for we would be able to have him back.
But now, a new nightmare has begun.Whether or not Ben is guilty, should not be for the Police to decide. If they HAD the evidence to strengthen their warrant for re-arrest, why was it not brought to court? Why is Ben not given a chance to defend himself? How can we ever know the authenticity of these so called witnesses and their statements? If there were ANY to begin with?
Under this act, I could simply be caught for any crimes of drug offences the police accuse me of, because they can claim they have enough information (even if they have absolutely nothing) and detain me. For 60 days, for 2 years, and even EXTEND it after.
Acts like this and the ISA are licenses for ARBITRARY arrest and detention. Anytime. Anywhere. Anybody.
My family and Amer will not back down. We will fight for Ben’s right. We will speak up for all of those who were silenced before us, who will be silenced hereafter.
But we seek your help. In any way at all, help us fight this. Re-post this, write on your blogs, write to your local representative, to our newspapers, and together we shall use our voice, our art, our space, to stand up not just for Ben, but for all our rights.
Liberty is a Constitutional right. It’s time to get it back.
*******
Monday, March 29, 2010
Danial's Engagement
Another nephew got engaged over the weekends.I drove back to Raub with my Mom and her bibik.Nik got work.Z pun got work (cheh..I seemed to be the only one fit to be a driver this weekend).
Anyway, I wanted to give my mom a breather.This will be her first trip back to her home since December last year.Nasib the house was kept clean by Shahrul (the garden just got mowned.The toilets were clean).We also missed melepak2 tengah rumah (very windy cos' my mom's house is up a hill, facing the Banjaran Gunung Tahan.Very nice view indeed).
My mom's mengaji friends heard of her being home so even late in the evening, her friends were still flooding in (of cos' lotsa tears and drama as they kissed and hugged).My mom was in her element.Nampak ceria sangat.I text-ed my siblings asking if I could just leave her here and go home alone.Wakaka.My 2nd sis text-ed back saying I sounded like Malim Kundang, anak derhaka. :))
The following day was Danial's Bertunang Day.It's been a long time since I witnessed a merisik session.I tell ya, you need a pre-nup lawyer to handle the merisik session! It sounded very materialistic..how much was right..what happened if any of the two betrayed the engagement agreement...what happened kalau tak bayar penuh..etc etc...I thought the whole thing was so offensive..I would not want to start my life together with my loved one on this basis.Should not all the details be decided before the event?The event should be kept simple and sweet.But apparently the jurucakap on both sides enjoyed the negotiating...one has to have a degree in PR to do this sort of thing.I wonder if you've ever heard of the rombongan walking out of the negotiation?
Luckily ours went OK.In April the first niece (in many years) pulak will have her engagement ceremony.Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend cos' Z has her SPM award-giving ceremony (at her former school). I just sent a feedback over IIUM's criteria (they do not recognise A-s but would rather award someone with min. 7A+s and I guess it's OK if with that result, to have the next few subjects Bs and Cs) JPA punya minimum requirement for s/ship is 9A-s.TNB 8A-s.Can we respect all the As, pls? :))
Anyway, I wanted to give my mom a breather.This will be her first trip back to her home since December last year.Nasib the house was kept clean by Shahrul (the garden just got mowned.The toilets were clean).We also missed melepak2 tengah rumah (very windy cos' my mom's house is up a hill, facing the Banjaran Gunung Tahan.Very nice view indeed).
My mom's mengaji friends heard of her being home so even late in the evening, her friends were still flooding in (of cos' lotsa tears and drama as they kissed and hugged).My mom was in her element.Nampak ceria sangat.I text-ed my siblings asking if I could just leave her here and go home alone.Wakaka.My 2nd sis text-ed back saying I sounded like Malim Kundang, anak derhaka. :))
The following day was Danial's Bertunang Day.It's been a long time since I witnessed a merisik session.I tell ya, you need a pre-nup lawyer to handle the merisik session! It sounded very materialistic..how much was right..what happened if any of the two betrayed the engagement agreement...what happened kalau tak bayar penuh..etc etc...I thought the whole thing was so offensive..I would not want to start my life together with my loved one on this basis.Should not all the details be decided before the event?The event should be kept simple and sweet.But apparently the jurucakap on both sides enjoyed the negotiating...one has to have a degree in PR to do this sort of thing.I wonder if you've ever heard of the rombongan walking out of the negotiation?
Luckily ours went OK.In April the first niece (in many years) pulak will have her engagement ceremony.Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend cos' Z has her SPM award-giving ceremony (at her former school). I just sent a feedback over IIUM's criteria (they do not recognise A-s but would rather award someone with min. 7A+s and I guess it's OK if with that result, to have the next few subjects Bs and Cs) JPA punya minimum requirement for s/ship is 9A-s.TNB 8A-s.Can we respect all the As, pls? :))
Friday, March 26, 2010
Salam from KL Convention Centre
Salam!
I'm writing from a cafe at KL Convention Centre where internet is free.I love this whole place (KL CC).It is so well managed.Staff are polite, speak excellent English; toilets are clean (with bidets), suraus are well-respected (by that I mean they are clean, telekong bergantung on hangers, clean dan tidak berkulat).Hati kecil ku tertanya2 siapa punya management ini.It is really world class (I have been to Boston Convention Centre OK?) It's better than that! Sana takda surau or bidet.Wakaka.
Anyway, I did my little investigation.Alangkah hampanya.It's managed by an Australian-led management (the company has bumiputra status).Anyway, I am just happy to have this world-class facility and wish that the culture spreads to other Malaysian organisations.Even at our 5-star hotel it ain't this good.Gelas pinggan mangkuk depa pun very da Italian look.
My conference is exciting (on marketing, fund-raising, branding uni etc).Raja Nazrin officiated.I purposely pilih seat tepi red carpet agar bila dia lalu, he sees me.Wakaka...he did! He nodded.I nodded back.He smiled.I smiled back.Fuyoooooooooo....I love this Regent.Dia dah tak hensem but his charm is his intelligence.Philosophy, OK? From Oxford yah? And a string of degrees from Harvard OK?And his speech..was quoted everywhere by mat salleh and yang tak mat salleh.
I also met the VC of Brunei Uni.Another brilliant chap (and Islamic) He was trained as an ENT specialist at Liverpool Uni.So I went up to speak to him as a fellow alumna and alerted him of our gala dinner in KL in July.He showed interest in joining us.Humble orangnya.Dan kelakar.
Met VC UM for the first time.Dia pun kelakar.Nice people here.Dr Rohani and Dr Lin and I got into a woman-to-woman talk while waiting for dinner.Stripping the soul naked.Good session.Very humbling too.We are all old women who have gone through so much (at least I am going through quite a bit at the mo. with my mom.)
I'm writing from a cafe at KL Convention Centre where internet is free.I love this whole place (KL CC).It is so well managed.Staff are polite, speak excellent English; toilets are clean (with bidets), suraus are well-respected (by that I mean they are clean, telekong bergantung on hangers, clean dan tidak berkulat).Hati kecil ku tertanya2 siapa punya management ini.It is really world class (I have been to Boston Convention Centre OK?) It's better than that! Sana takda surau or bidet.Wakaka.
Anyway, I did my little investigation.Alangkah hampanya.It's managed by an Australian-led management (the company has bumiputra status).Anyway, I am just happy to have this world-class facility and wish that the culture spreads to other Malaysian organisations.Even at our 5-star hotel it ain't this good.Gelas pinggan mangkuk depa pun very da Italian look.
My conference is exciting (on marketing, fund-raising, branding uni etc).Raja Nazrin officiated.I purposely pilih seat tepi red carpet agar bila dia lalu, he sees me.Wakaka...he did! He nodded.I nodded back.He smiled.I smiled back.Fuyoooooooooo....I love this Regent.Dia dah tak hensem but his charm is his intelligence.Philosophy, OK? From Oxford yah? And a string of degrees from Harvard OK?And his speech..was quoted everywhere by mat salleh and yang tak mat salleh.
I also met the VC of Brunei Uni.Another brilliant chap (and Islamic) He was trained as an ENT specialist at Liverpool Uni.So I went up to speak to him as a fellow alumna and alerted him of our gala dinner in KL in July.He showed interest in joining us.Humble orangnya.Dan kelakar.
Met VC UM for the first time.Dia pun kelakar.Nice people here.Dr Rohani and Dr Lin and I got into a woman-to-woman talk while waiting for dinner.Stripping the soul naked.Good session.Very humbling too.We are all old women who have gone through so much (at least I am going through quite a bit at the mo. with my mom.)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Al Fatihah to Sister Aminah Assilmi
I received this in my morning mail:
Salam,
For those of you who don’t know our dear sister, Aminah Assilmi, who passed away this morning in a fatal car accident, she was recently chosen as one of the top 500 most influential current Muslims in the world. She can be credited with getting us the Eid Stamp in the United States. And she has spoken often at mosques and Islamic conferences across North America; she has also been a champion of da’wah efforts,bringing many people into Islam by God’s will. May Allah have mercy upon her soul and make her grave a meadow of Paradise.
Her detailed life story is below.
Renowned female Scholar: Aminah Assilmi
Aminah Assilmi is a renowned female scholar of Islam she travels around the United States to give lectures , her personal story has admired hundreds of individuals ,she is also President of International Union of Muslim Women , the organization that has many achievements under its belt.
"I am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is thebeat of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through my veins.Islam is my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful.Without Islam I am nothing, and should Allah ever turn His magnificent face from me, I could not survive." Aminah Assilmi
It all started with a computer glitch.She was a Southern Baptist girl, a radical feminist, and a broadcast journalist. She was a girl with an unusual caliber, who excelled in school, received scholarships, ran her own business, and were competing with professionals and getting awards – all these while she was goingto college. Then one day a computer error happened that made her take up a mission as a devout Christian. Eventually, however, it resulted into something opposite and changed her life completely around.
It was 1975 when for the first time computer was used to pre-registerfor a class in her college. She was working on her degree on Recreation.She pre-registered for a class and then went to Oklahoma City to take care of a business. Her return was delayed and she came back to college two weeks into the class. Making up the missed work was no problem forher, but she was surprised to find that the computer mistakenly registered her for a Theatre class, a class where students would be required to perform in front of others. She was a very reticent girl and she was horrified to think about performing in front of others. She could not drop the class for it was too late.Failing the class was also not a choice, for she was receiving ascholarship that was paying for her tuition and receiving an ‘F’would have jeopardized it.
Advised by her husband, she went to her teacher to work out some other alternative to performing, such as preparing costumes, etc. Assured bythe teacher that he would try to help her, she went to the next classand was shocked by what she saw. The class was full of Arabs and “camel jockeys”. That was enough for her. She came back home and decided not to go back to the class anymore. It was not possible for herto be in the middle of Arabs. “There was no way I was going to sit ina room full of dirty heathens!”
Her husband was calm as usual. He pointed out to her that God has areason for everything and that she should think about more beforequitting. Besides, there was the scholarship that was paying her tuition. She went behind locked doors for 2 days to think about. When she came out, she decided to continue the class. She felt that God gave her a task to convert the Arabs into Christianity.
Thus she found herself with a mission to accomplish. Throughout the class, she would be discussing Christianity with her Arab classmates.“I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their hearts.” They still did not convert, and so she decided to do something else: “I decided to read their own book to show to them that Islam was a false religion and Mohammed was a false Prophet”.
At her request, one student gave her a copy of the Qur’an and another book on Islam. With these two books she started on her research, which she was to continue for the next one and half years. She read the Qur’an fully and another fifteen books on Islam. Then she came back to the Qur’an and re-read it. During her research, she started taking notes that she found objectionable and which she would be able to use toprove that Islam was a false religion.
Unconsciously, however, she was changing from within which did not escape the attention of her husband. “I was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant.” She stopped drinking and eating pork. Her husband suspected her of having an affair with another man, for “it was only for a man that a woman changes”. Ultimately, she was asked to leave,and she soon found herself living in a separate apartment
"When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced me that Iwould finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because of Islam."
Throughout these times, she continued studying Islam and although she was changing subtly from within, she remained a devout Christian. Then one day, there was a knock on her door. It was a man in traditional Muslim robe, who appeared to her as a “man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table cloth on his head”. His name was Abdul-Aziz Al-Sheik and he was accompanied by three other men in similar dress. She was very offended by Muslim men coming to her in nightgowns and pajamas. She was further shocked when Abdul-Aziz told her that he understood that she waited to be a Muslim. She replied that she was a Christian and she did not have any plan to become a Muslim. However, she had some questions to ask if they had the time.
At her invitation, they came inside. She now brought up the questions and objections that she noted down while she was researching. “I will never forget his name”, she said of Abdul-Aziz who proved to be a very patient and soft-mannered person. “He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly or that a questionwas stupid.” Abdul-Aziz listened to every question and objection and explained it within the proper context. “He explained that Allah had told us to seek knowledge and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it was like watching arose open – petal by petal, until it reached its full glory. When Itold him that I did not agree with something and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. Then he would show me how to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fullerunderstanding.”
It would not be long before she would externally submit to what she had already been submitting to internally during the last one and half years. Later in that same day, this Southern Baptist girl would declare in front of Abdul-Aziz and his companions: “I bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger.” It was May 21, 1977.
Conversion to Islam, or to any other religion for that matter, is not always a simple thing to do. Except for a few fortunate ones, a new Muslim usually face consequences. The convert may face isolation from family and friends, if not pressure to go back to the family faith.Sometimes, a convert may even face sever economic hardship, as in the case of those who are asked to leave the house because of converting to Islam. Some converts are fortunate to continue to be well respected by family and friends, but most of them face minor to severe hardship especially during the first few years after the conversion.
But the difficulty that Aminah Assilimi had to go through and the sacrifice that she had to make for the sake of her conviction and faith is almost unheard of. There are few who could rely so much on Allah as she did, standing firm and meeting the challenges, making sacrifices,and yet maintaining a positive posture and influencing people around with the beauty of what she found and believed in.
She lost most of her friends, for she was “no fun anymore”. Her mother did not accept her becoming a Muslim and hoped that it was a temporary zeal and that she would soon grow out of it. Her “mental health expert” sister thought that she lost her mind. She attempted to put her in a mental health institution.
Her father was a calm and wise man. People would come to him for advice and he could comfort anyone in distress. But when he heard that his daughter became a Muslim, he loaded his double-barrel shotgun and started on his way to kill her. “It is better that she be dead ratherthan suffering in the deepest of Hell”, he said.
She was now without friends and without family.She soon started wearing hijab. The day she put it on, she was deniedher job. She was now without family, friends, and job. But her greatest sacrifice was yet to come.
She and her husband both loved each other very much. But while she was studying Islam, her husband misunderstood her for her apparent changes.She became quieter and stopped going to the bar. Her changes were visible to him and he suspected her of having affair with another man,for whom she must have been changing. She could not explain to him what was happening. “There was no way to make him understand what was changing me because I did not know.” Eventually he asked her to leaveand she started living separately.
After she openly accepted Islam, it went worse. A divorce was nowinevitable. This was a time when Islam was little known, much less understood for what it is. She had two little children whom she loved dearly and whose custody should have rightfully be given to her. But in a grave violation of justice, she was denied their custody just because she became a Muslim. Before giving the formal verdict, the judge offered her a harsh choice: either renounce Islam and get custody of the children, or keep Islam and leave the children. She was given 20 minutes to make a decision.
She loved her children very dearly. It is perhaps the worst nightmare that a mother can have: asked to willfully leave her child - not for one day, month, or year, but forever. On the other hand, how could she keep the Truth away from her children and live as a hypocrite? “It was the most painful 20 minutes in my life”, she said in an interview. Those of us who are mothers and fathers, especially of young children, little imagination is needed to feel the pain and torment that she must have passed every second in those 20 minutes. What added further to her pain was that according to doctors, she could never bear another child because of certain complications. “I prayed like I had never donebefore … I knew that there was no safer place for my children to be than in the hands of Allah. If I denied Him, there would be no way in the future to show my children the wonders of being with Allah.”
She decided to retain Islam. Her two dear children – one little boy and one little girl – were taken away from her and given to her ex-husband.
For a mother, is there a sacrifice greater than this – a sacrifice that is done for no material reason but only for faith and conviction?
“I left the court knowing that life without my babies would be very difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the right thing” . She found comfort in the following verse of the Qur'an:
There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and theearth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for Heis the Most High, the Supreme (in glory). (Quran 2: 255)
Perhaps the air of Colorado was too thin for justice. Or perhaps there was a plan in Allah’s greater scheme of affairs. Aminah Assilimi later fought back and took her case to the media. Although she did not get custody of her children again, a change was made in the Colorado law that one cannot be denied child custody on the basis of his or her religion.
Indeed Allah’s love and mercy engulfed her so much that, as if, she has been granted the touchstone of Islam. Wherever she goes, people are touched by her beautiful words and Islamic manners and become Muslim.
By accepting Islam, she became a changed person, and a much better person. So much so that her family, relatives, and people around her started appreciating her mannerism and the faith that brought about such changes in her. Despite her family’s initial reaction, she remained in touch with them and addressed them with respect and humility, just as the Qur’an enjoins the Muslims to do. She would send cards to her parents on different occasions, but she would always write down a verse from the Qur’an or the Hadith without mentioning the source of such beautiful words of wisdom. It was not long before she started making a positive influence among her family members.
The first to become Muslim was her grand mother. She was over 100 years old. Soon after accepting Islam, she died. “The day she pronounced Shahada, all her misdeeds had been erased, while her good deeds were preserved. She died so soon after accepting Islam that I knew her“book” was bound to be heavy on the good side. It fills me with such a joy!”
Next to become Muslim was her father, the one who wanted to kill her after she became Muslim. Thus he brought alive the story of Umar ibn Khattab. Umar was a companion of the Prophet who persecuted the early Muslims before he converted to Islam. When he heard one day that his sister became a Muslim, he went out with an open sword to kill her. But upon hearing some of the verses from the Qur’an that his sister was reciting, he recognized the truth and went straight to the Prophet and accepted Islam.
Two years after she (Assilmi) accepted Islam, her mother called and said that she appreciated her faith and hoped that she would keep it. Couple of years later, she called again and asked her about what one would need to do to become a Muslim. Assilmi replied that one had to believe that there is only One God and Muhammad was his Messenger. “Any fool knows that. But what do you have to do?”, she asked again. She replied that if that is what she believed, then she was already a Muslim! At this, her mother said, “Well … OK. But let’s not tell your father just yet”.
She was not aware that her husband (Assilmi’s step father) had the same conversation with her a few weeks earlier. Thus the two lived together as Muslims for years in secret without knowing that the other was also a Muslim. Her sister who wanted to put her in mental institution accepted Islam as well. She must have realized that becoming Muslim is indeed the most healthy and sound thing to do.
Her son, upon becoming adult, accepted Islam. When he turned 21, he called her and said that he wanted to become a Muslim.
Sixteen years after the divorce, her ex-husband also accepted Islam. He said that he had been watching her for sixteen years and wanted his daughter to have the same religion that she had. He came to her and apologized for what he had done. He was a very nice gentlemen and Assilimi had forgiven him long ago.
Perhaps the greatest reward for her was yet to come. Assilmi later married another person, and despite the doctors’ verdict that shecould never conceive another child, Allah blessed her with a beautiful boy. If Allah (swt) makes a gift to someone, who can prevent Him? It was truly a wonderful blessing from Allah (swt), and so she named him“Barakah
The sacrifice that Assilmi made for the sake of Allah (swt) was tremendous. And so Allah (swt) turned in mercy to her and rewarded her with enormous blessings. Her family discarded her after she accepted Islam, and now by Allah’s mercy, most of them are Muslim. She lost her friends because of Islam, and now she is being loved by so many.“Friends who loved came out of nowhere”, she said. Allah’s blessings came upon her so much that wherever she goes people are ouched by the beauty of Islam and accept the Truth. Both Muslims and non-Muslims now come to her for advice and counseling.
She lost her job because of wearing hijab, and now she is the President of the International Union of Muslim Women. She delivers lectures nationwide and is on high demand. It was her organization that successfully lobbied for the “Eid Stamp” and had it approved by the United States Postal Service, but it took many years of work. She is now working on making the Eid Day as a national holiday.
She has tremendous trust on Allah’s love and mercy and she never loses faith in Him. She was once diagnosed with cancer some years ago.Doctors said that it was in an advanced stage and that she would live for another year. But her faith in Allah (swt) remained strong. “We must all die. I was confident that the pain I was experiencing contained blessings.” As a brilliant example of how much one can love Allah, she mentions about a friend of her named Kareem Al-Misawi who died of cancer when he was in his 20’s:
"Shortly before he died, he told me that Allah was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and was radiating with Allah’s love.He said: “Allah intends that I should enter heaven with a cleanbook.” His death experience gave me something to think about. He taught me of Allah’s love and mercy."
All praise is due to Allah, she continues to live in good health. She now thinks that having cancer was the greatest blessing that she ever had.
Salam,
For those of you who don’t know our dear sister, Aminah Assilmi, who passed away this morning in a fatal car accident, she was recently chosen as one of the top 500 most influential current Muslims in the world. She can be credited with getting us the Eid Stamp in the United States. And she has spoken often at mosques and Islamic conferences across North America; she has also been a champion of da’wah efforts,bringing many people into Islam by God’s will. May Allah have mercy upon her soul and make her grave a meadow of Paradise.
Her detailed life story is below.
Renowned female Scholar: Aminah Assilmi
Aminah Assilmi is a renowned female scholar of Islam she travels around the United States to give lectures , her personal story has admired hundreds of individuals ,she is also President of International Union of Muslim Women , the organization that has many achievements under its belt.
"I am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my life. Islam is thebeat of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through my veins.Islam is my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful.Without Islam I am nothing, and should Allah ever turn His magnificent face from me, I could not survive." Aminah Assilmi
It all started with a computer glitch.She was a Southern Baptist girl, a radical feminist, and a broadcast journalist. She was a girl with an unusual caliber, who excelled in school, received scholarships, ran her own business, and were competing with professionals and getting awards – all these while she was goingto college. Then one day a computer error happened that made her take up a mission as a devout Christian. Eventually, however, it resulted into something opposite and changed her life completely around.
It was 1975 when for the first time computer was used to pre-registerfor a class in her college. She was working on her degree on Recreation.She pre-registered for a class and then went to Oklahoma City to take care of a business. Her return was delayed and she came back to college two weeks into the class. Making up the missed work was no problem forher, but she was surprised to find that the computer mistakenly registered her for a Theatre class, a class where students would be required to perform in front of others. She was a very reticent girl and she was horrified to think about performing in front of others. She could not drop the class for it was too late.Failing the class was also not a choice, for she was receiving ascholarship that was paying for her tuition and receiving an ‘F’would have jeopardized it.
Advised by her husband, she went to her teacher to work out some other alternative to performing, such as preparing costumes, etc. Assured bythe teacher that he would try to help her, she went to the next classand was shocked by what she saw. The class was full of Arabs and “camel jockeys”. That was enough for her. She came back home and decided not to go back to the class anymore. It was not possible for herto be in the middle of Arabs. “There was no way I was going to sit ina room full of dirty heathens!”
Her husband was calm as usual. He pointed out to her that God has areason for everything and that she should think about more beforequitting. Besides, there was the scholarship that was paying her tuition. She went behind locked doors for 2 days to think about. When she came out, she decided to continue the class. She felt that God gave her a task to convert the Arabs into Christianity.
Thus she found herself with a mission to accomplish. Throughout the class, she would be discussing Christianity with her Arab classmates.“I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their hearts.” They still did not convert, and so she decided to do something else: “I decided to read their own book to show to them that Islam was a false religion and Mohammed was a false Prophet”.
At her request, one student gave her a copy of the Qur’an and another book on Islam. With these two books she started on her research, which she was to continue for the next one and half years. She read the Qur’an fully and another fifteen books on Islam. Then she came back to the Qur’an and re-read it. During her research, she started taking notes that she found objectionable and which she would be able to use toprove that Islam was a false religion.
Unconsciously, however, she was changing from within which did not escape the attention of her husband. “I was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant.” She stopped drinking and eating pork. Her husband suspected her of having an affair with another man, for “it was only for a man that a woman changes”. Ultimately, she was asked to leave,and she soon found herself living in a separate apartment
"When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced me that Iwould finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because of Islam."
Throughout these times, she continued studying Islam and although she was changing subtly from within, she remained a devout Christian. Then one day, there was a knock on her door. It was a man in traditional Muslim robe, who appeared to her as a “man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table cloth on his head”. His name was Abdul-Aziz Al-Sheik and he was accompanied by three other men in similar dress. She was very offended by Muslim men coming to her in nightgowns and pajamas. She was further shocked when Abdul-Aziz told her that he understood that she waited to be a Muslim. She replied that she was a Christian and she did not have any plan to become a Muslim. However, she had some questions to ask if they had the time.
At her invitation, they came inside. She now brought up the questions and objections that she noted down while she was researching. “I will never forget his name”, she said of Abdul-Aziz who proved to be a very patient and soft-mannered person. “He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly or that a questionwas stupid.” Abdul-Aziz listened to every question and objection and explained it within the proper context. “He explained that Allah had told us to seek knowledge and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it was like watching arose open – petal by petal, until it reached its full glory. When Itold him that I did not agree with something and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. Then he would show me how to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fullerunderstanding.”
It would not be long before she would externally submit to what she had already been submitting to internally during the last one and half years. Later in that same day, this Southern Baptist girl would declare in front of Abdul-Aziz and his companions: “I bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger.” It was May 21, 1977.
Conversion to Islam, or to any other religion for that matter, is not always a simple thing to do. Except for a few fortunate ones, a new Muslim usually face consequences. The convert may face isolation from family and friends, if not pressure to go back to the family faith.Sometimes, a convert may even face sever economic hardship, as in the case of those who are asked to leave the house because of converting to Islam. Some converts are fortunate to continue to be well respected by family and friends, but most of them face minor to severe hardship especially during the first few years after the conversion.
But the difficulty that Aminah Assilimi had to go through and the sacrifice that she had to make for the sake of her conviction and faith is almost unheard of. There are few who could rely so much on Allah as she did, standing firm and meeting the challenges, making sacrifices,and yet maintaining a positive posture and influencing people around with the beauty of what she found and believed in.
She lost most of her friends, for she was “no fun anymore”. Her mother did not accept her becoming a Muslim and hoped that it was a temporary zeal and that she would soon grow out of it. Her “mental health expert” sister thought that she lost her mind. She attempted to put her in a mental health institution.
Her father was a calm and wise man. People would come to him for advice and he could comfort anyone in distress. But when he heard that his daughter became a Muslim, he loaded his double-barrel shotgun and started on his way to kill her. “It is better that she be dead ratherthan suffering in the deepest of Hell”, he said.
She was now without friends and without family.She soon started wearing hijab. The day she put it on, she was deniedher job. She was now without family, friends, and job. But her greatest sacrifice was yet to come.
She and her husband both loved each other very much. But while she was studying Islam, her husband misunderstood her for her apparent changes.She became quieter and stopped going to the bar. Her changes were visible to him and he suspected her of having affair with another man,for whom she must have been changing. She could not explain to him what was happening. “There was no way to make him understand what was changing me because I did not know.” Eventually he asked her to leaveand she started living separately.
After she openly accepted Islam, it went worse. A divorce was nowinevitable. This was a time when Islam was little known, much less understood for what it is. She had two little children whom she loved dearly and whose custody should have rightfully be given to her. But in a grave violation of justice, she was denied their custody just because she became a Muslim. Before giving the formal verdict, the judge offered her a harsh choice: either renounce Islam and get custody of the children, or keep Islam and leave the children. She was given 20 minutes to make a decision.
She loved her children very dearly. It is perhaps the worst nightmare that a mother can have: asked to willfully leave her child - not for one day, month, or year, but forever. On the other hand, how could she keep the Truth away from her children and live as a hypocrite? “It was the most painful 20 minutes in my life”, she said in an interview. Those of us who are mothers and fathers, especially of young children, little imagination is needed to feel the pain and torment that she must have passed every second in those 20 minutes. What added further to her pain was that according to doctors, she could never bear another child because of certain complications. “I prayed like I had never donebefore … I knew that there was no safer place for my children to be than in the hands of Allah. If I denied Him, there would be no way in the future to show my children the wonders of being with Allah.”
She decided to retain Islam. Her two dear children – one little boy and one little girl – were taken away from her and given to her ex-husband.
For a mother, is there a sacrifice greater than this – a sacrifice that is done for no material reason but only for faith and conviction?
“I left the court knowing that life without my babies would be very difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the right thing” . She found comfort in the following verse of the Qur'an:
There is no god but He,-the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and theearth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for Heis the Most High, the Supreme (in glory). (Quran 2: 255)
Perhaps the air of Colorado was too thin for justice. Or perhaps there was a plan in Allah’s greater scheme of affairs. Aminah Assilimi later fought back and took her case to the media. Although she did not get custody of her children again, a change was made in the Colorado law that one cannot be denied child custody on the basis of his or her religion.
Indeed Allah’s love and mercy engulfed her so much that, as if, she has been granted the touchstone of Islam. Wherever she goes, people are touched by her beautiful words and Islamic manners and become Muslim.
By accepting Islam, she became a changed person, and a much better person. So much so that her family, relatives, and people around her started appreciating her mannerism and the faith that brought about such changes in her. Despite her family’s initial reaction, she remained in touch with them and addressed them with respect and humility, just as the Qur’an enjoins the Muslims to do. She would send cards to her parents on different occasions, but she would always write down a verse from the Qur’an or the Hadith without mentioning the source of such beautiful words of wisdom. It was not long before she started making a positive influence among her family members.
The first to become Muslim was her grand mother. She was over 100 years old. Soon after accepting Islam, she died. “The day she pronounced Shahada, all her misdeeds had been erased, while her good deeds were preserved. She died so soon after accepting Islam that I knew her“book” was bound to be heavy on the good side. It fills me with such a joy!”
Next to become Muslim was her father, the one who wanted to kill her after she became Muslim. Thus he brought alive the story of Umar ibn Khattab. Umar was a companion of the Prophet who persecuted the early Muslims before he converted to Islam. When he heard one day that his sister became a Muslim, he went out with an open sword to kill her. But upon hearing some of the verses from the Qur’an that his sister was reciting, he recognized the truth and went straight to the Prophet and accepted Islam.
Two years after she (Assilmi) accepted Islam, her mother called and said that she appreciated her faith and hoped that she would keep it. Couple of years later, she called again and asked her about what one would need to do to become a Muslim. Assilmi replied that one had to believe that there is only One God and Muhammad was his Messenger. “Any fool knows that. But what do you have to do?”, she asked again. She replied that if that is what she believed, then she was already a Muslim! At this, her mother said, “Well … OK. But let’s not tell your father just yet”.
She was not aware that her husband (Assilmi’s step father) had the same conversation with her a few weeks earlier. Thus the two lived together as Muslims for years in secret without knowing that the other was also a Muslim. Her sister who wanted to put her in mental institution accepted Islam as well. She must have realized that becoming Muslim is indeed the most healthy and sound thing to do.
Her son, upon becoming adult, accepted Islam. When he turned 21, he called her and said that he wanted to become a Muslim.
Sixteen years after the divorce, her ex-husband also accepted Islam. He said that he had been watching her for sixteen years and wanted his daughter to have the same religion that she had. He came to her and apologized for what he had done. He was a very nice gentlemen and Assilimi had forgiven him long ago.
Perhaps the greatest reward for her was yet to come. Assilmi later married another person, and despite the doctors’ verdict that shecould never conceive another child, Allah blessed her with a beautiful boy. If Allah (swt) makes a gift to someone, who can prevent Him? It was truly a wonderful blessing from Allah (swt), and so she named him“Barakah
The sacrifice that Assilmi made for the sake of Allah (swt) was tremendous. And so Allah (swt) turned in mercy to her and rewarded her with enormous blessings. Her family discarded her after she accepted Islam, and now by Allah’s mercy, most of them are Muslim. She lost her friends because of Islam, and now she is being loved by so many.“Friends who loved came out of nowhere”, she said. Allah’s blessings came upon her so much that wherever she goes people are ouched by the beauty of Islam and accept the Truth. Both Muslims and non-Muslims now come to her for advice and counseling.
She lost her job because of wearing hijab, and now she is the President of the International Union of Muslim Women. She delivers lectures nationwide and is on high demand. It was her organization that successfully lobbied for the “Eid Stamp” and had it approved by the United States Postal Service, but it took many years of work. She is now working on making the Eid Day as a national holiday.
She has tremendous trust on Allah’s love and mercy and she never loses faith in Him. She was once diagnosed with cancer some years ago.Doctors said that it was in an advanced stage and that she would live for another year. But her faith in Allah (swt) remained strong. “We must all die. I was confident that the pain I was experiencing contained blessings.” As a brilliant example of how much one can love Allah, she mentions about a friend of her named Kareem Al-Misawi who died of cancer when he was in his 20’s:
"Shortly before he died, he told me that Allah was truly Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and was radiating with Allah’s love.He said: “Allah intends that I should enter heaven with a cleanbook.” His death experience gave me something to think about. He taught me of Allah’s love and mercy."
All praise is due to Allah, she continues to live in good health. She now thinks that having cancer was the greatest blessing that she ever had.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
To all caregivers in the world
I read Juneita Johari's article for the first time about a week ago.She wrote about her experience taking care of her dad.Very moving piece but it helped me see things in better perspective.It tamed my sometimes wild soul.
Last Sunday she had her column on the subject, I, Caregiver.This time on her mom.Again, very moving.I simply had to write to her to thank her for her enlightening and informative pieces.She replied right away and after a few exchanges, we are like saying this to one another: we need more people like you.Hahaha..I love her fiery spirit.Nothing like mine.Dia lagi berapi-api.She has been an activist for a long time.
Read Juneita here
on her dad:
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20100307113713/Article/index_html
on her mom:
http://www.nstp.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20100313182232/Article/index_html
Last Sunday she had her column on the subject, I, Caregiver.This time on her mom.Again, very moving.I simply had to write to her to thank her for her enlightening and informative pieces.She replied right away and after a few exchanges, we are like saying this to one another: we need more people like you.Hahaha..I love her fiery spirit.Nothing like mine.Dia lagi berapi-api.She has been an activist for a long time.
Read Juneita here
on her dad:
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20100307113713/Article/index_html
on her mom:
http://www.nstp.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20100313182232/Article/index_html
Friday, March 12, 2010
Tahniah to all SPM achievers
My heartiest congrats to all kids whose hard work paid off in yesterday's SPM results.I was away attending to my mom at HUKM but was home when Nik rang me up to inform me the good news (he was teary!) Z got all As in her 10 subjects (Tasawur Islam she belajar sendiri sebab no teacher and alhamdulilah, dapat A walaupun tak A plus). She got 4A+, 4A and 2 A-.I ingat dia akan dapat 6 atau 7 A je sebab saat2 akhir dia masih sibuk dgn kerja2 majalah sekolah (as Chief Editor) sampai I naik risau.Yang paling impressive what I could not do better at my SPM, she scored: Add Maths, Chemistry and Physics tapi disuruh jadi Scientist/Doctor, tak nak pulak dia.
We went out to celebrate at Alexis in Bangsar.Cod dia sedap but not the nasi istimewa..ikan bakar was cencaru (I didn't know..kalau tak I would not order) After a CAP report on cencaru, I had stopped eating it for years.Cencaru makan taik manusia (in Msian polluted sea)
We went out to celebrate at Alexis in Bangsar.Cod dia sedap but not the nasi istimewa..ikan bakar was cencaru (I didn't know..kalau tak I would not order) After a CAP report on cencaru, I had stopped eating it for years.Cencaru makan taik manusia (in Msian polluted sea)
Monday, March 08, 2010
Happy Women's Day
Gals, we still have a longgggggggg way to go.Guys, you better start your own movement and help educate your species (teach them to be gentlemen, respectful and kind to women)
I celebrated it by attending a lunch hosted by H.E. Penny Williams, the out-going Australian High Commissioner to Msia.Sitting at my table were Datin Frieda of Cempaka Schools (it has grown so big now with so many branches and producing world class students who win international competitions esp, in Maths).Ivy Josiah was at my table too.We touched base a little and discussed child sex industry in Msia.I told them my social worker contact told me Msia is a hub ...child prostitutes can be as young as 8 years old (in Spore I was told they fetched SD20K per nite.Kurang ajar punya jantan! Binatang!)
It is a different reality once you know Chow Kit, Jalan Alor where everything happens: drugs, prostitution, segala macam haramjadah organised crimes you can think of! Janganlah tidur lena makan sedap sangat.We are rotting!
My 6 million ringgit question is: mengapa government tak bulldoze je area ni?
Jawaban: sebab they need to sweep the dirt under a carpet somewhere.Ketidak binatang2 ini akan merayap ke KLCC, Bangsar...habis la image "bersih" satu Malaysia kita!
Happy Women's Day? Think of those on sale!
I celebrated it by attending a lunch hosted by H.E. Penny Williams, the out-going Australian High Commissioner to Msia.Sitting at my table were Datin Frieda of Cempaka Schools (it has grown so big now with so many branches and producing world class students who win international competitions esp, in Maths).Ivy Josiah was at my table too.We touched base a little and discussed child sex industry in Msia.I told them my social worker contact told me Msia is a hub ...child prostitutes can be as young as 8 years old (in Spore I was told they fetched SD20K per nite.Kurang ajar punya jantan! Binatang!)
It is a different reality once you know Chow Kit, Jalan Alor where everything happens: drugs, prostitution, segala macam haramjadah organised crimes you can think of! Janganlah tidur lena makan sedap sangat.We are rotting!
My 6 million ringgit question is: mengapa government tak bulldoze je area ni?
Jawaban: sebab they need to sweep the dirt under a carpet somewhere.Ketidak binatang2 ini akan merayap ke KLCC, Bangsar...habis la image "bersih" satu Malaysia kita!
Happy Women's Day? Think of those on sale!
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Just another juggler
As I move in and out hospitals in looking after my mom (taking turns, that is) I bump into so many other children in my position...late night emergencies..long travels to the hospital back and forth.It really warms my heart.There is hope yet in this world as kindness and love continue to be weaved by loved ones for the beloved. It is not easy as they lose sleep, skip on working hours etc.
I had my first night at the hospital a couple of days ago.Eversince my mom got to be unwell, I would do anything but sleep at the hospital.But I decided to.If my teenage daughter could do it (and she's so spoilt), I could too.It was not easy as I packed my stuffs.First I packed the travel mat.It's too huge to carry/bring over.The Pak Guard would not allow me in.Then I packed in the comforter..tak jadi juga.Finally I brought the sleeping bag. The floor was hard and cold.That nite, my mom's room had a male intruder (kita tak tau nak tutup the sliding door so it was left open).Luckily my mom was still awake and one of the nurses raised the alarm (by chasing after this guy and asking loudly sapa ni?)
But generally, HUKM Hospital is so unfriendly (except for the doktor pakar.They are very professional and kind). But can't say much about the nurses and young doctors. Ward nurses chat loudly during patients' sleeping hours.I think patients with heart problem might mati terkejut! They are also a bit lazy.At one point, my sister yang kena cuci my mom until another kind nurse said no..you don't do that..get the person in charge to do it (and she waited to make sure the junior nurse did her work).
But nursing is tough.I kesian juga nengok their nature of work.But they work for 7 hours only then get the shift.Not bad what? But they don't seem to put patients' needs first.
Yang paling sedih was the evening my mom was discharged.I was alone (my siblings takda since depa kerap tidur kat hospital) with the new Bibik. I asked for a wheel chair from the ward.Nurse tu kata kena tinggal IC and I have to bring it up again.Helllloooo..I'm handling a sick old lady, a new Bibik yang tak tau apa2, nak tinggal my car and go up 6 floors to return the wheel chair? Where is compassion? If not ethical behaviour that befits the nursing profession?) I went down to get the wheel chair (a long way OK?).Pak Guard kata tak boleh sebab it's after office hours.Haiyoo....but lucky for me I found one tak bertuan.So I took it up and it's easier to return it back cos' my maid boleh pulang depan entrance door.
A longgggggggggg way to go , baby, when it comes to healthcare in this country.
I had my first night at the hospital a couple of days ago.Eversince my mom got to be unwell, I would do anything but sleep at the hospital.But I decided to.If my teenage daughter could do it (and she's so spoilt), I could too.It was not easy as I packed my stuffs.First I packed the travel mat.It's too huge to carry/bring over.The Pak Guard would not allow me in.Then I packed in the comforter..tak jadi juga.Finally I brought the sleeping bag. The floor was hard and cold.That nite, my mom's room had a male intruder (kita tak tau nak tutup the sliding door so it was left open).Luckily my mom was still awake and one of the nurses raised the alarm (by chasing after this guy and asking loudly sapa ni?)
But generally, HUKM Hospital is so unfriendly (except for the doktor pakar.They are very professional and kind). But can't say much about the nurses and young doctors. Ward nurses chat loudly during patients' sleeping hours.I think patients with heart problem might mati terkejut! They are also a bit lazy.At one point, my sister yang kena cuci my mom until another kind nurse said no..you don't do that..get the person in charge to do it (and she waited to make sure the junior nurse did her work).
But nursing is tough.I kesian juga nengok their nature of work.But they work for 7 hours only then get the shift.Not bad what? But they don't seem to put patients' needs first.
Yang paling sedih was the evening my mom was discharged.I was alone (my siblings takda since depa kerap tidur kat hospital) with the new Bibik. I asked for a wheel chair from the ward.Nurse tu kata kena tinggal IC and I have to bring it up again.Helllloooo..I'm handling a sick old lady, a new Bibik yang tak tau apa2, nak tinggal my car and go up 6 floors to return the wheel chair? Where is compassion? If not ethical behaviour that befits the nursing profession?) I went down to get the wheel chair (a long way OK?).Pak Guard kata tak boleh sebab it's after office hours.Haiyoo....but lucky for me I found one tak bertuan.So I took it up and it's easier to return it back cos' my maid boleh pulang depan entrance door.
A longgggggggggg way to go , baby, when it comes to healthcare in this country.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The power of prayers
Greetings from Singapore!
For those who were with me in the last few days, I wish to thank you for your support and prayer.My mother is now discharged from HUKM after a week's trauma.As is so common with renal failure patients, she suffered delirium and we were so tried.Some bad relatives said she got hantu rayalah, this and that.We called ustaz from so many places esp from Darul Shifa' and I am most grateful to my brother in law's friend, tak ingat pun nama dia but my colleague from IIUM, Dr Samsudin is the kindest to us.He came all the way from Gombak to 'scan' my mother and assured us takda hantu atau jin atau setan.It's just effect of her illness and perasaan (mother merajuk dgn busy anak2 who seldom visit her.She has all daughters.Malangnya we are the types who take our career seriously and are always busy.My sisters yang kerja kat SUHAKAM and Sal,a school teacher, je yang consistently sacrificing their working hours for mom.I datang before and after work sahaja.Alasan: backpain)
Anyway, we are relieved she's OK now.I think the week's lesson was for us.Now everyone is making time for her.I'm in Spore cos' Spore Management Uni jemput as speaker (slot is tomorrow afternoon) and on Sunday (I just found out) I'm sitting with CEOs in a panel discussion.Aiyoo..Must ask Prof Kirp apa ke benda I have to talk on in that panel.
My charger kena curi kat airport (tak tau in KL or Spore) so I had to naik bus pi Bugis Village to buy charger.Sporeans memang macam I, tau pi balik kerja je.When asked for directions, ramai blur.But Bugis Village is nice to shop (ni yang my mak marah ni.In her delirium, she asked if I were going to Spore to makan angin dan bersukaria shopping.How alert! Even di bawah sedar)
Anyway, I am convinced in the power of prayers.Masjid UIA buat, budak2 anak angkat mak I masa raya pun prayed for her, my facebook and blog friends, even Kirp pun prayed for my mom.I'm sure Francis did too.I am so fortunate to have good and sincere friends/students.I ain't rich but I have good friends/students.Syukur and thank you all.
Now wish me luck at SMU.I'm sure orang nak tau pasal pompuan kena rotan kat Msia.Looks like I sorang je Muslim participant at the conference.
For those who were with me in the last few days, I wish to thank you for your support and prayer.My mother is now discharged from HUKM after a week's trauma.As is so common with renal failure patients, she suffered delirium and we were so tried.Some bad relatives said she got hantu rayalah, this and that.We called ustaz from so many places esp from Darul Shifa' and I am most grateful to my brother in law's friend, tak ingat pun nama dia but my colleague from IIUM, Dr Samsudin is the kindest to us.He came all the way from Gombak to 'scan' my mother and assured us takda hantu atau jin atau setan.It's just effect of her illness and perasaan (mother merajuk dgn busy anak2 who seldom visit her.She has all daughters.Malangnya we are the types who take our career seriously and are always busy.My sisters yang kerja kat SUHAKAM and Sal,a school teacher, je yang consistently sacrificing their working hours for mom.I datang before and after work sahaja.Alasan: backpain)
Anyway, we are relieved she's OK now.I think the week's lesson was for us.Now everyone is making time for her.I'm in Spore cos' Spore Management Uni jemput as speaker (slot is tomorrow afternoon) and on Sunday (I just found out) I'm sitting with CEOs in a panel discussion.Aiyoo..Must ask Prof Kirp apa ke benda I have to talk on in that panel.
My charger kena curi kat airport (tak tau in KL or Spore) so I had to naik bus pi Bugis Village to buy charger.Sporeans memang macam I, tau pi balik kerja je.When asked for directions, ramai blur.But Bugis Village is nice to shop (ni yang my mak marah ni.In her delirium, she asked if I were going to Spore to makan angin dan bersukaria shopping.How alert! Even di bawah sedar)
Anyway, I am convinced in the power of prayers.Masjid UIA buat, budak2 anak angkat mak I masa raya pun prayed for her, my facebook and blog friends, even Kirp pun prayed for my mom.I'm sure Francis did too.I am so fortunate to have good and sincere friends/students.I ain't rich but I have good friends/students.Syukur and thank you all.
Now wish me luck at SMU.I'm sure orang nak tau pasal pompuan kena rotan kat Msia.Looks like I sorang je Muslim participant at the conference.
Monday, February 22, 2010
I witnessed
...today how my mom continued to slip away.They said it might just be a phase but at 77? I think it's a natural process.But there's been so much guilt in me.Why wasn't I fast enough to act when her bp hit 200? Why took her to a private clinic? To a wrong hospital? Just so because it was the most convenient for me.
I witnessed the extent of damage of bad judgment today as I spent 5 hours with my mom at the hospital.Most of the time, she failed to recognise any of us.She knew what she wanted but she could not speak.When she did, she was not making coherent train of thoughts.When she's herself, she expressed her fear of losing her sense of connectedness, still sharp and aware of the many possibilities of her ailment.
This is not the woman I know.She's too helpless, too dependent (we have to move her leg up and down cos' she has no energy to move it herself).I feel devastated to see her like this.I hope it is just a phase.But it's so true of what the Quran describes.She has started to behave like Che'ah (my 2 year old niece): when she refused food, medication.
Such is life.I pray that she does not suffer too much.
I witnessed the extent of damage of bad judgment today as I spent 5 hours with my mom at the hospital.Most of the time, she failed to recognise any of us.She knew what she wanted but she could not speak.When she did, she was not making coherent train of thoughts.When she's herself, she expressed her fear of losing her sense of connectedness, still sharp and aware of the many possibilities of her ailment.
This is not the woman I know.She's too helpless, too dependent (we have to move her leg up and down cos' she has no energy to move it herself).I feel devastated to see her like this.I hope it is just a phase.But it's so true of what the Quran describes.She has started to behave like Che'ah (my 2 year old niece): when she refused food, medication.
Such is life.I pray that she does not suffer too much.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tiger roared
Yesterday was my family's turn to wait at the emergency ward on my mom.Her bp was touching 200.I feared stroke.Bawak dia pi private clinic yang 24 hours.The doc advised kita bawak ke hospital (after giving her Adalat).We took her to Sg Buloh Hospital sebab yang paling dekat.Nasib Nik was cooperative.I bawak Z sekali (despite her protest but I had spine prob.Sapa pulak nak pegang my mom nanti?) Bless my gal.She's a good child.May Alah give her all As in her SPM. :))
Lama nunggu at the emergency.I had to nego with the counter guys suruh bagi my mom masuk dulu as she looked so doped.We thot dia dah kena stroke, staring into the air tak bercakap2, her body shivering.The staff at the hospital memang very friendly.Tak pernah jumpa hospital this friendly and kind.
We didn't go back till almost 2 am (dari pukul 10 pm!) We tried sleeping in the car at the carpark.Takut pulak kena rompak.Nik bawak BMW dia.Then we decided to balik rumah dulu.While on the high way, the ward rang to say my mom was ready to be discharged.Pusing balik.I must tabik my hubby and my gal for being so sabar.
I masuk kerja lambat sikit.Penat satu macam.I had to be on painkiller.Dah sms si Bob pasal spine I sakit balik.At the same time I made an appointment with a new chiropractor (sementara nunggu Alicia balik cuti from India).Kali ni benggali.Aida yang kata bagus.
And petang got interbiu some more.Nasib the panelists were not nasty to me.Kata orang kalau kita buat baik dgn ibubapa, Allah bayar cash.Mudah2an.
Balik from interbiu, I spent all afternoon writing my Spore paper.Tak siap2 juga.50% siap.Nanti kena prune lagi.Just throw in thoughts dulu.Prune kemudian.
I told you kalau kita buat baik dgn ibubapa, Allah bayar cash.Around 4 pm I terima panggilan saying nanti I dijemput jadi judge to one prestigious international writing competition.Yippee, syukur! This will allow me to get free literary books and chance to listen to readings.
Lama nunggu at the emergency.I had to nego with the counter guys suruh bagi my mom masuk dulu as she looked so doped.We thot dia dah kena stroke, staring into the air tak bercakap2, her body shivering.The staff at the hospital memang very friendly.Tak pernah jumpa hospital this friendly and kind.
We didn't go back till almost 2 am (dari pukul 10 pm!) We tried sleeping in the car at the carpark.Takut pulak kena rompak.Nik bawak BMW dia.Then we decided to balik rumah dulu.While on the high way, the ward rang to say my mom was ready to be discharged.Pusing balik.I must tabik my hubby and my gal for being so sabar.
I masuk kerja lambat sikit.Penat satu macam.I had to be on painkiller.Dah sms si Bob pasal spine I sakit balik.At the same time I made an appointment with a new chiropractor (sementara nunggu Alicia balik cuti from India).Kali ni benggali.Aida yang kata bagus.
And petang got interbiu some more.Nasib the panelists were not nasty to me.Kata orang kalau kita buat baik dgn ibubapa, Allah bayar cash.Mudah2an.
Balik from interbiu, I spent all afternoon writing my Spore paper.Tak siap2 juga.50% siap.Nanti kena prune lagi.Just throw in thoughts dulu.Prune kemudian.
I told you kalau kita buat baik dgn ibubapa, Allah bayar cash.Around 4 pm I terima panggilan saying nanti I dijemput jadi judge to one prestigious international writing competition.Yippee, syukur! This will allow me to get free literary books and chance to listen to readings.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Chinese new year long weekends
We decided to hold a kenduri khatam quran for Hafiz and Amzar at my place but later I found out, Amzar baru juz 1, nak khatam ke hapa.I don't know who fed me the wrong info.I think my mom (maklumlah dia dah mula senile, made worse by her ailment).So in the end, Hafiz sorang je khatam.Dia ni blur pulak (tak biasa Quran emas we loaned him).Akhirnya ustaz tu yang bacakan after Hafiz baca 3-4 ayat.Kelakar betul.
Macam zombie nak plan itu ini for the unplanned kenduri.Z said 70 people on both sides.I ordered 100 thinking of neighbours and orang surau.Then so many could not come so I cut the number to 80.Even then ramai family members cannot come.Haiyo..sure berlambak food.Macam zombie nak agih2kan makanan but alhamdulillah we managed to distribute.
Malam tu Z and I took Che'ah and Erfi out to the Curve (Nik pi surau to distribute food yang melambak2 tu).Can you imagine taking two below 3 years old kids out on Valentine's Day? Hahaha.I never celebrated but amidst young couples, people looked at us strangely (or becos' both were so cute esp. Che'ah? She's so adorable.I put Z's old clothes on her.Nampak comel sangat and so urbane.Hahaha)
We went shopping, ate ice cream at Baskin Robbins.The two got new clothes.I liked.Kalau ada anak besar ni, I think seronok juga but apa nak buat.Kilang dah nak tutup.Tunggu cucu je le in 10 years' time.
Macam zombie nak plan itu ini for the unplanned kenduri.Z said 70 people on both sides.I ordered 100 thinking of neighbours and orang surau.Then so many could not come so I cut the number to 80.Even then ramai family members cannot come.Haiyo..sure berlambak food.Macam zombie nak agih2kan makanan but alhamdulillah we managed to distribute.
Malam tu Z and I took Che'ah and Erfi out to the Curve (Nik pi surau to distribute food yang melambak2 tu).Can you imagine taking two below 3 years old kids out on Valentine's Day? Hahaha.I never celebrated but amidst young couples, people looked at us strangely (or becos' both were so cute esp. Che'ah? She's so adorable.I put Z's old clothes on her.Nampak comel sangat and so urbane.Hahaha)
We went shopping, ate ice cream at Baskin Robbins.The two got new clothes.I liked.Kalau ada anak besar ni, I think seronok juga but apa nak buat.Kilang dah nak tutup.Tunggu cucu je le in 10 years' time.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tiger Year
I was in PD visiting SHELL Refining smart partners today with my team.Dr. Khairil and En. Khairuddin met up with us and they took us to meet their MD, Tuan Haji Rozano.Latino name but very Chinese looking.Very helpful as well.We may invite him to speak on branding later this year.
Dr K and K had a lot of things lined up for our kids and I hope they will benefit much.
Last nite Kak Ngah and Sal took our mom to HUKM emergency.They went at 6 pm.Came back at almost 4 am! Kesian.Bihah also got admitted cos' she was too hungry, too tired.Kesian betul.I hope Allah will reward my two sisters for their care and love for our mom.
I had to rush to PD at 7 am so tak sempat tengok my mom (but I received her at 4 am when she returned).
What a tiger year this year.My spine problem is back.I don't know what to say of Bob.Betul la kata my orthopedic...you will only delay things but without surgery, you cannot fully recover.Alicia says to wait till she sees me in April.She also told me to think twice about surgery.Byk buruk dari baik.But it can get to be so bad that I feel like going crazy with pain.Alicia suruh I pi Brunei see her guru.Ummi (my niece doctor) says I'd go for this kinda stuff to avoid OT!
I hope I'll get some rest over the long weekend (Spore paper needs to be written)
Dr K and K had a lot of things lined up for our kids and I hope they will benefit much.
Last nite Kak Ngah and Sal took our mom to HUKM emergency.They went at 6 pm.Came back at almost 4 am! Kesian.Bihah also got admitted cos' she was too hungry, too tired.Kesian betul.I hope Allah will reward my two sisters for their care and love for our mom.
I had to rush to PD at 7 am so tak sempat tengok my mom (but I received her at 4 am when she returned).
What a tiger year this year.My spine problem is back.I don't know what to say of Bob.Betul la kata my orthopedic...you will only delay things but without surgery, you cannot fully recover.Alicia says to wait till she sees me in April.She also told me to think twice about surgery.Byk buruk dari baik.But it can get to be so bad that I feel like going crazy with pain.Alicia suruh I pi Brunei see her guru.Ummi (my niece doctor) says I'd go for this kinda stuff to avoid OT!
I hope I'll get some rest over the long weekend (Spore paper needs to be written)
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Intellectual freedom
I was invited along with 2 other former Fulbright Scholars to be in a panel discussion at a digital video conference with famous African American poet who is also Prof of English in North Carolina, Prof Brenda Flanagan. We met at a dinner hosted by the US Embassy last year.
A remarkable poet.
A fantastic scholar.
We had fun and I got educated far more than I expected.I went in quite skeptical since it was hosted by the US State Dept, US Embassy.I thought Brenda would be so politically correct that she would only be in praise of how far the US had achieved when Obama moved into the White House.
I was so wrong.Brenda was genuine.She tibai habis, pukul mati.A true scholar who's not afraid to speak the truth.What amazed me more was the openness of the US Embassy people...Kaufman who enjoyed the session as much as us, Prof Kelly (Brenda's friend who came online to assist her in addressing some of the sociological issues to do with AA ~ African American)
Brenda addressed my questions (sent earlier via emails) decently.I asked about american black muslim writers.She said they were also responsible for enlightening AAs to things just and equal esp in the 60s and that the largest Muslim population in the US is AAs.Sonia Sanchez converted to Islam cos' of Elijah Muhammad.Malcolm X was held in high regard by most AAs.Nice kan? She paid tribute to these writers and read Sanchez's poem)
She said despite the many names which had made it to international fame (one nobel laureate win)..there's still much racism and discrimination towards AAs.Studies on AA is not extensive to all unis/colleges.If you have one or two token writers, the slave history is NEVER discussed, etc etc.
Ben was saying Prof Gates (the Harvard Prof who was arrested for trying to get into his own home and whose neighbour thought was a burglar) wrote how aids/privileges given to the so called blacks were actually not given to TRUE african americans born and bred in the USA but to first generation black immigrants from Africa, the caribbean, etc.Becos' they were former Brit subjects, they were better articulated, better educated...so they'd 'qualify' to receive grants, opportunities created for AAs.
I think AA is an interesting field to study and as we found out, is not only about America but humanity (or humanity gone wrong) at large.
By the way, the dvc was held in conjunction with Black History Month which is celebrated every February.
Alas, I finally had a nice taste of intellectual freedom in KL.
A remarkable poet.
A fantastic scholar.
We had fun and I got educated far more than I expected.I went in quite skeptical since it was hosted by the US State Dept, US Embassy.I thought Brenda would be so politically correct that she would only be in praise of how far the US had achieved when Obama moved into the White House.
I was so wrong.Brenda was genuine.She tibai habis, pukul mati.A true scholar who's not afraid to speak the truth.What amazed me more was the openness of the US Embassy people...Kaufman who enjoyed the session as much as us, Prof Kelly (Brenda's friend who came online to assist her in addressing some of the sociological issues to do with AA ~ African American)
Brenda addressed my questions (sent earlier via emails) decently.I asked about american black muslim writers.She said they were also responsible for enlightening AAs to things just and equal esp in the 60s and that the largest Muslim population in the US is AAs.Sonia Sanchez converted to Islam cos' of Elijah Muhammad.Malcolm X was held in high regard by most AAs.Nice kan? She paid tribute to these writers and read Sanchez's poem)
She said despite the many names which had made it to international fame (one nobel laureate win)..there's still much racism and discrimination towards AAs.Studies on AA is not extensive to all unis/colleges.If you have one or two token writers, the slave history is NEVER discussed, etc etc.
Ben was saying Prof Gates (the Harvard Prof who was arrested for trying to get into his own home and whose neighbour thought was a burglar) wrote how aids/privileges given to the so called blacks were actually not given to TRUE african americans born and bred in the USA but to first generation black immigrants from Africa, the caribbean, etc.Becos' they were former Brit subjects, they were better articulated, better educated...so they'd 'qualify' to receive grants, opportunities created for AAs.
I think AA is an interesting field to study and as we found out, is not only about America but humanity (or humanity gone wrong) at large.
By the way, the dvc was held in conjunction with Black History Month which is celebrated every February.
Alas, I finally had a nice taste of intellectual freedom in KL.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
ASA room
Not many turned up to do up the room but we managed to work on something.The kids will return this week and help paint plus decorate the room.We have decided to keep the room (space is important to academics...as it is, there is no meeting place for us to network in a lepak way) I hope the uni will not take back this room.We love it cos' there's a lot of sun coming from our glass windows and the river view...cantik.And the guys were saying senang nak pi semayang at the mosque and buy lunch afterwards.The room Rector offers memang cantik but if it means we have to get permission everytime we want to use it (cos' we will be sharing with Holdings), I think it will not be a good arrangement.Kalau uni. bagi terus, we don't mind! Wakaka.
Last week Suhaimi spoke on leadership deficit (about 8 people came..memang this is the setting.Discussions work best in smaller groups).And we did have a very lively and reflective discussion.I truly enjoyed it.
The second week we had Prof Kamal talking on Muslim intellectuals.Could not stay back for discussions so I don't know what I missed but the talk was excellent.
I have to postpone the lunch (this Fri) with our SHELL friends in PD to attend the talk on kalimah Allah (from legal perspective).That should be good.Aslam said Dr. Shamrahayu is against it but Prof Aziz Bari kata tak apa.
Spent all day shopping for furniture today.Nik wanted a new lazy chair utk nengok TV dia. I wanted to get my mom a new wardrobe.My mom and Z had flown to JB to spend a week with Mek.Z is hopeful to go shopping in Spore. If my mom is up to it, bolehlah pergi.Kalau tak sihat..takdalah.
Last week Suhaimi spoke on leadership deficit (about 8 people came..memang this is the setting.Discussions work best in smaller groups).And we did have a very lively and reflective discussion.I truly enjoyed it.
The second week we had Prof Kamal talking on Muslim intellectuals.Could not stay back for discussions so I don't know what I missed but the talk was excellent.
I have to postpone the lunch (this Fri) with our SHELL friends in PD to attend the talk on kalimah Allah (from legal perspective).That should be good.Aslam said Dr. Shamrahayu is against it but Prof Aziz Bari kata tak apa.
Spent all day shopping for furniture today.Nik wanted a new lazy chair utk nengok TV dia. I wanted to get my mom a new wardrobe.My mom and Z had flown to JB to spend a week with Mek.Z is hopeful to go shopping in Spore. If my mom is up to it, bolehlah pergi.Kalau tak sihat..takdalah.
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