Back at work

I'm still on leave but for the past 2 days I came to work.Why?

1.Imagined work and the fear of not being able to cope when I return.
2.Real work that needs to be done in the office cos' my printer at home rosak.
3.Free electricity at work.Ha ha.Just kidding.

So many things going on my mind at the moment.Will the real Faridah stand up, please? There are moments when it is hard to decide but I remember what Dato Shan said: if you have so many choices in life, do what you have to do NOT what you want to do.

Then will we be happy? Doing what we have to do but not what we WANT to do? Desire is often bad, isn't it? And wanting is desiring? The other is a responsibility which means pahala all the time.If done dgn hati ikhlas that is.

I wrote two short stories.One I already sent out to a major writing competition but I think it will not win. The second one is half cooked.I find it hard to end it.I also find it hard to expose it.It's too real.Where is the fiction bit? :)

DELL has many activities planned this month and months that follow.I should finish work end of January and start working on my research on Moore and Phui Nam and those beautiful people waiting to be discovered in the USA. Francis sent the invitation letter to his uni. (which I have no time to act on yet).Mohja is still away but she said she would fax me an invitation soon too.Andrew says I must find time to speak at Cornell.3 months is a short time.I should have asked for a sabbatical leave but Z is having her PMR this coming year.I miscalculated!

Oh stressful betul.I wanna sit at home, do my nails.