Merdeka Blues

This year apa pasal tak rasa merdeka pun? What is going on??

Pagi-pagi I got an email saying well-written.Aku dah agak..mesti ada issue race.Kawan-kawan Cina aku ramai macam ni (yang betul-betul luhur pun ramai). Yang segelintir ni suka sangat hantar emails yang berbau perkauman.Aku benci! Dah berapa puluh tahun merdeka, still harping on kami rakyat kelas kedua? rakyat anak tiri? orang melayu ada hak istimewa.Kalau tak bulan ramadan..dah lama nak kena hamput ni!

Macamana pun I voiced my 'resistance'.Pi check kat Penang tu..PKR rule kaa DAP rule.My friend (we are still friends..hahaha) kata check dulu la kau punya fakta..open tender ada pun, Melayu juga dapat projek.He said pi talk to the people.Masalahnya I spoke to orang-orang miskin Penanglah aku berani cakap mcm tu! (unless taxi drivers tu orang2 UMNO??) I habag kat my fren, nak tanya Melayu mana? Semua dah tak mampu nak duduk kat island..habeh lari ke mainland.

Tak habis dok kalut with this email, tiba lagi satu kawan bagi email on merdeka (tajuk well-written).Dok cerita pasal Cina-Melayu lagi..haiya..this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life as a Malaysian (dok cerita ungkit melayu dapat ni..Cina terpinggir) Come on! anak aku pun tak dapat government scholarship OK? Kita pun duduk rumah teres lagi OK? Privilege apa, cuba habag maii!

I told my friends (supposedly to be educated people) tukarlah skrip..jangan dok main the same song.Aku bosan! Tukarlah skrip kepada yang ini (dan ajar anak-anak dan cucu-cucu sekali):

We do not care how others make us feel.We are Malaysians.Let's build this country together and assist each other..work with the rich to help the poor.

See? Takda ill-feelings against any group based on race, class, religion.Take the venoms out.Be happy!

Happy merdeka day, anyway.You may not like your politicians but they don't own this country.It is ours to keep and take care of.

Busy days ahead

It's almost raya now ha? I have a series of conferences to attend between now and Nov.Tensi, dong! Konon nak unwind kat tempat buat facial and urut kaki..sakit bahu pulak jadinya..muka naik gerutu! (ini akibat coupon murah la ni..patut harga RM380 jadi RM98..inilah padahnya!)

Anyway, I thought of flying to Brunei to collect my data for the conference in Jakarta..suntuklah masa! Mana nak raya..mana nak pi holiday raya...and my writers from Indonesia semua I call je on the phone.Mana I faks, I faks, mana ada emel I emel.Kerja gila mcm ni! There's this Kiai on my list ..susah nak connect.I hope he'll respond.Nampak mcm interesting je orangnya.

Bagi yang tak berpuasa, how do you cope? Makan sorok2 ke?

Nur Ramadan Talk Series

We'd like to announce our series of talk this Ramadan.For those keen on life-long learning, this is the time.

Tomorrow Aug 20, 2010 (11 am -12.30 pm) at CERDAS room

1.Dr Meriam (clinical psychologist with years of experience) talking on Memahami Keperluan Warga Emas (we'll get there sooner or later!)

Fee RM30; students RM10

2.Puan Nina Abdullah (certified marriage counselor who ran a practice in USA before moving to Malaysia) speaking on Menyuburkan kasihsayang di dalam rumahtangga

CERDAS room August 26, 2010 (same time, same fee)

3. Prof Dr. Alini (Board Trustee Member of Khalifah Institute, Prof of Pharmacy, UKM) speaking on Memahami Keperluan Remaja

CERDAS room Sept 3, 2010 (same time, same fee)

Make time for knowledge.RM30 is sooooo cheap cos' the professional rate is RM250 an hour with the psychologists.

See you tmrw!

Dari Golden Lounge

Greetings from Penang.I'm writing from the airport's golden lounge..hai..seronok betul travel business class nih...rasa relaxed and unrushed sikit..surau kat sini, toilet bersih dan tak berbau...rahmah Allah sangat besar bagi yang berpuasa...hahaha (cuma tak leh makan)

I was at USM to examine a thesis (viva).Sempat jumpa beberapa rakan seperjuangan.Mcm2 idea dapat bila dah berbual2.

I suka Penang.Green, clean, accessible.Dulu tak mcm ni.Dulu byk motosikal dan agak tak teratur.Kalau tak jadi cuti ke Seoul or Hong Kong or Australia, nak suruh Nik datang sinilah cuti Raya nanti.Duduk tepi pantai macam orang putih...

Saturday baru ni we had a family event (buka puasa plus kenduri doa selamat : for Z and for Nik..long overdue.Also for my mother: for coming through her toughest ordeal last Feb). I catered but caterer baru ni not so goodlah.But anak2 angkat yang kita ambik last 2 rayas came.My mom was so happy (Ali led the prayers/doa..dia punya doa boleh buat org menangis..so sayu..style masjid Madinah where he studied for his undergrad days).Makram pun I invited (maklum he just came from Jordan/Saudi.A pelarian Palestine.A bit lost takda kawan but with the 4 boys, ada la kawan dia nak cakap Arab..Ala budak Palestin tu pun ada..from Engineering Sch.Dia ni tertib.Mak bapak duduk Dubai.Nampak mcm kaya but humble je).Nik ajak budak2 ni makan durian (my nephew bawak dari Raub).Ya Allah...macam pesta! ( I don't like durian..busuk..hahaha..gue mcm oreng putih kulit hitam)

But it's nice kasi makan students.Ali was saying semayang kat masjid UIA tu mcm kat Makkah musim puasa ni.Orang luar pun will come to pray there.One of these days I pun nak pi lah.Dah teringat kat Masjidil Haram...harap2 ada lambaian pi umrah soon.

Unnecessary fear that impedes...

I hate it when it happens.Unfortunately in this country, it happens a lot.

2 years ago I got some small research grant.In my busy-ness and excitement that I completed the project, I submitted whatever I got and moved on to other reserach projects (and completed..some with slight delay).

Now that the whole uni is or will be audited, many offices are over-cautious about their spendings to the extent of impeding other people's progress.Arghhhs!!! Benci betul. I could not trace RM400 RA money spent (budak tu dah balik Nigeria I think).I wrote a letter saying my work was submitted and published the same year (2008).How come the file isn't close yet.Selagi tak close tak leh apply another project (although between 2008 and 2010 I got other grants..cuma now in their spring-cleaning, they just discovered ada doco I tak cukup). Truly leceh.If it's RM4 million I can faham the kecoh (and esp if work is not done).

Oh well.

Happy Ramadan

My fav month is almost here. I wish to wish everyone selamat menyambut bulan yang penuh berkat ini.

We shopped early for Ramadan sebab Sat afternoon I had IEEP at Genting till Sunday.Malam tu pulak nak pi tengok Z punya Culture Show (dia jadi pompuan mengandung...good acting but I asked apa pasal tak pilih langsung watak lakonan tu.She said it was given.But the kids pandai...they did everything within a week : from writing the play to setting up props, belajar tarian, etc.We were impressed but masa 20 mins intermission, we all cabut.Z's scene pun dah lepas.Had to pick up my mom from Sal's.Dia baru keluar Tropicana, masuk balik HUKM besoknya.Sigh..but now stable and discharged).

I feel that I need a holiday.The mind, body and spiritual a bit battered.May Ramadan energise me.

paling maksima

Hari ini ujian cukup besar.Paling Maksima.Macam nak buat cerpen pulak.

I had to uruskan my mom keluar hospital seorang diri. Can you imagine I mengangkat kerusi roda besi tu sorang2? Ya right..tak terbayangkan yah? Memang tak terangkatkan! Hari ni I tak pi valet parking sebab nak save duit.So I kena hangkut besi tu from carpark kat bawah tu..bukanlah hangkut sampai atas but from my car boot to keluar.It was impossible.Then I just doa: Ya Allah permudahkanlah...and like magic, benda tu jadi ringan and MUDAH keluar.I have seen byk magic since I take care of my mom, folks.Truly!

But I got tired. I bukan malaikat yang tak tidur, tak lapar, tak marah.By the time I got to work (separuh hari nak settle mcm2 kat hospital tu > it's not a one-stop centre nak mengeluarkan pesakit ni.I wish you can just do it at the ward's counter) I rasa mcm nak pengsan.I sms-ed all my siblings, reminding them hey look, we gotta share this responsibility.Yang sorang tu byk ckp pulak..reminding betapa byk pahala kalau buat kerja dgn ikhlas (my eyes roll up here)...and that it's all destiny that I should do more and even quoted the story of anak mithali yang pikul mak dia kat bahu ...haiyo...never quote anything to a tired caregiver...I told her jgn guna destiny as an excuse but ask how much extra mileage are we willing to do for an aged parent.

Anyway, we sorted out some kinda arrangement: kena bergilir2.There are times my work would not permit me to be this flexible with my time..so they better be prepared.

And kesian the aged patient next to my mom's bed.Dia mcm dah nyanyuk.Only her sons rajin tunggu but they are easily chased away by the nurses sebab tu ward pompuan.Tadi pagi nenek tu duduk tak bergerak2.Anak2 jantan dia tak datang lagi. My mom kata dia pengsan (sebenarnya tidak).I asked her upon seeing her meal tak dimakan."Makcik tak lapar ke?"

She mouthed me : "lapar."

"Makcik nak makan ke?" I asked trying to be civil.Idak I tau makcik tu nak kata iya.

"Iya." she said and looked at me with this pleading look.Plez O plez.

Halamak! Terpaksa la I jadi misi dia kejap.Kasi makan...(betul2 macam baby.. lap2 mulut dia when makanan tu jatuh atas bib dia).Nak ketawa pun ada, nak menangis pun ada (I felt kiri kanan I had to serve)

Tapi di sinilah agama amat penting.Sedang setan dok kipas I, I teringat hadis Rasulullah "tidak dari golonganku jika dia tidak mengasihi yang kecil dan menyayangi yang tua" or something like that lah.And you actually feel good helping others....

And balasan serta merta Allah hari ni buat I?
Diana Wong sent me an email and gave me her tel no!!!!!

This is the friend I have been looking for for over 10 years!! (dia pun cari I) Hatinya sangat mulia walaupun dia bukan orang Islam.Masa I susah sebatang kara in Adelaide, sapa yang cheered me up (tolong share sewa rumah..tolong jaga anak I..tolong kasi I moral support when Z had to go back to Malaysia cos' I could not afford childcare expenses and could not cope between writing a thesis and caring for an infant...) Memang kalau Diana Wong takda, I dah lama biul.

Itulah balasan Allah utk mengangkat besi berat hari ini.Syukur alhamdulillah!

Events of the month

Men in uniform (Doc Zul and friends)


Role playing

Dr Ng and Delesh at UoL dinner


Stuart at UoL cocktails

Stuart and Malaysian Mona Lisa
(kah kah kah)

guests at the registration counter

The gala dinner with Uni of Liverpool at KL Sentral's Hilton went well.Met a few interesting people: Dr Khan who flew all the way from Dhaka for the dinner (trained as a doctor at the Uni of Liverpool) and ada Mat Salleh berumur (was a lawyer) yang I suka berbual.The group who came (the VC and wife included) were not your typical English yang sombong.They also thought we were a bunch of friendly people. :)) And I met Datuk Zakaria (ingatkan dia ni Chinese convert..dok cerita dgn dia pasal budak2 Melayu cerdik yang tak dapat scholarship..aleh2 bila nak pi cari nama dia kat VVIP table, wife dia kata look for his name: Paul Chan..halamak! But I think he was representing someone else..these days tak tau who is who..muka semua sama! I remember meeting with Datuk Z when HELP gave Z an award and scholarship for High Achievers..dia la yang gave away the award.Baik sgt mereka suami isteri)

I had a great evening sitting with Dr Kassim and wife, Kwan and wife, Delesh (bujang) and Dr Ng.

On Sunday kita tukar hospital mak kita dari private ke uni hospital.The meter stopped at close to RM12K (2 days je).But mak kita dah stabil so alhamdulillah.

Monday ada closing ceremony for our peacekeepers.Syok oh talking and mingling with uniformed men/women. :)) Kita tak pernah tau dunia mereka.Mereka pun tak pernah tau dunia uni.kami.We all hope there would be other opportunities to work together again.And I hope our newly found friends will email us pics from wherever they are (takleh beritau lokasi mission mereka but they go as peacekeepers)

And now, back to examining theses.