Betrayal

My next short story would be on this theme.What I recently experienced will be hard to express (no, it's not my husband cheating on me) but a question that continues to play in my mind is this: what does it take to be a good person? To be consistently good?

I cried on my prayer mat, reflecting.The lesson I learnt was that we cannot depend or hope that a fellow human being will solve problems of the world no matter how good he/she seems to be.No matter how committed a Muslim (this is the saddest part). I met a new friend.I thought this person was the hope of the ummah.Future leader (not politically).Bla bla bla.

Then something happened which made me feel betrayed.It hurt so much to feel betrayed.Now I know the feelings of wives whose husbands secretly took another.Or the feelings of husbands when wives went astray.Kelam rasa dunia.Trust is very important to me.I'm sure to everyone too.

It's hard to reason out why man falls (by this I mean woman too) esp. good man (and good woman).I should go back to lessons learnt from Shakespearean tragedies.The plays will tell you that it's wrong to be too ambitious, revengeful, vain, envious dan semua dosa2 besar itu. Material world, right? Lust? Teringat cerita seorang wanita sufi: sekiranya disebabkan aku orang berdosa, ambil lah mata ini oh Tuhan (I speak as a woman not me per se.My story isn't an autobiography.I did not lead to any man's fall except perhaps my own husband's.Hahaha)

Tapi ramai men fell becos' of women, right? (and I guess vice versa). I fear the same had or would happen to this dear friend I just met.I pray dia akan selamat dari hambatan syaitan.

Anyway, the events I'm coordinating this year is slowly shaping up (one is slower than the other.Dah lah econ situation pun slow.May God help me!)