My mom lives with me now.She has been living on her own (with a nephew) ever since my youngest sister moved out of the house to live in another town with her young family.We gave Momma a maid.One after another.My nephew who lives with her ever since his Momma and his Dad got divorced has just got married recently.He continues to live in that home but Mamawan (as he referred to her in his FB recently) has to leave cos' Shahrul comes and goes (attending to his own young world) and it's best if Momma lives with us in KL.
The day we got news Momma would not have long to live (she's 76 after all), every one decided my home would be the best for her.Would any child say No to her own Mom? I'm lucky I have a very supportive husband who welcomed the idea.
As my Mom gets weaker and weaker, I learn to be more caring and more attentive.We don't love openly.In fact, I think I have difficulty in expressing my love for my Momma except love is shown in giving her lavish gifts and travels.While I see how easy it is for my siblings to hug, kiss, cry with my Momma, I feel restraint in showing such emotions.Everything is so mechanical.Have you eaten? How's your day? Do you sleep well? Is there anything else you need?I sound more like a matron than a daughter.
Is there love or is there not? (I left home at 18 and got married soonest my return to Malaysia so there was no time to bond)
Am I just being filial? Just fulfilling my duty as that obedient child?
Every prayer I pray for patience and love.That I have both to care for my Momma.That I am not caring for her because I am a child and she a parent.
And you know what?
I found it.
Patience and love.
Patience as I bathed her bony body, shivering with every drop of water poured over her.
Love as I put herself first before me, cooking her hot meal before I go to work.
The reward is inner peace knowing she finishes up her meal (when she has not been eating for days)
I pray for further patience and love as we continue to live.Everytime I look at her, I think of Pretam Kaur's story in the 70s of how an aged parent moved from one house to the other because the children always had an excuse to turn a parent away everytime she was housed in one.
I hope we would never get to that point and continue to care till forever.Dengan segala keikhlasan yang ada.
5 comments:
Lepas baca entry Dr, hati rasa rindu sangat pada kedua orang tua di kampung..
Semoga kita dapat berikan yang terbaik buat mereka..
InsyaAllah..
Saya sangat terharu. Semoga ibu Dr. Faridah berada dalam keadaan yang baik dan selesa. Insyaallah.
Lady: I learn that orang tua kita tak perlukan wang ringgit tetapi our presence with them, time with them lebih berharga.Kadang2 telefon pun lebih bermakna dari makanan yang sedap ketika anak2 tiada.So I hope you will call them if you can't be home with them as often as you could.
dill: I think God is preparing us by giving us this opportunity to care for our aged parent.Berapa ramai anak yang menyesal cos' they had not the opportunity to care for their parents like they cared for them when they were young.Ada yang sengaja tinggal jauh2.Ada yang sengaja buat2 sakit.
But it will not be easy caring for the aged.Itu sebab kita selalu kena doa Allah beri kita kasih sayang utk menyayangi orang yang memerlukan (ibubapa kita)dan kesabaran bagi kita dalam usaha kita mencurahkan bakti kita kpd kedua ibubapa kita.
huhu. sedih2. u see, my situation pn lebih kurang mcm dr. gk. i was raised by my atok n opah n my aunties. but when my atok n opah dh xde, n aunties sume dh kawin jz recently, i end up living w my mom at d moment. up until now, bru 4 or 5thn je dok ngn my parents. n mcm tu lah. hehe. xrapat sgt. awkward sgt kalau nk hug or kiss or even cium tgn pn. hehe. it's very difficult to say i love them. hmmm.. now dat i think abt it, i've never even said those words to them. hehehehe. well, it takes time i suppose.
Xlan: tapi Ibu tetap Ibu.Mcm I, kita were raised zaman mak bapak kept a serious front not like parents today boleh kejar mengejar dgn anak2 main futsal, bowling etc.Dulu kena observe order.My gal treats me like one of her frens (kadang2 benggang jugak.Kadang2 best sebab dah boleh buat companion)
But my mom gets to be the hugging/kissing type as she ages.Kita dah jadi buluh..janggal sikit rasanya, kan? (my siblings tak janggal cos' they have more practice than me..being away from home for many years.Tau2 dah bini/mak orang)
Anyway, what a year.Now my niece yang baru 2 tahun tu masuk ICU pulak for some viral infection...we just don't know how to break the news to my mom.It's her fav cucu and kalau in KL, takpa lagi.Ni nak travel to Kuantan.Pls pray the little one tak apa2.
My sister will break the news to my mom.I can't do it cos bila my mom starts cross-examination dia, I might break and will tell her EVERYTHING!My sis will say niece kena kudis but everything under control.
We'll see successful ke tidak.I suspect we will travel to Ktn besok.My mom will insist! I hope not.She cannot travel.Nak pi bilik air pun tak larat.
This is your reality show folks.
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